I’m over at Redeeming Childbirth, reaching out to moms who are struggling, whether with pregnancy or other life matters. I think you’ll want to read Dear Mama, Your Suffering is not Just for Enduring.
Fiercely Devoted, Love Mom is all the best, most-loved and shared articles from 8 years of archives here at Generation Cedar. I’ve done the work and put them all in one, 90-page ebook making it super easy for you to keep close by for “those days”, or to share with a friend who needs some much-needed encouragement.
Packed with powerful words meant to pick you up and get you through the hard days, or to simply inspire you to remember what this journey is all about, Fiercely Devoted is something you’ll want to read over and over, reminding you what God’s calling looks like in shoe leather, even on the worst days.
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The Blessing of Children ~ Homeschooling ~ Motherhood & Parenting ~ Marriage
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—If you know a mom who could use some encouragement and practical help, this would be an EXCELLENT resource to point her to!
Grab it, save it, print it, gift it, bind it–
it’s a treasure you’ll want to keep close!
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It’s hard for me to understand how the masses became convinced that motherhood was a “peripheral” job. In an interview I recently had, I concluded:
Being a wife and mother is not just something we ARE; it’s something we DO.
And that changes everything. Because that “doing” is magnanimous. What we do, that is, what we are supposed to be doing, has far-reaching, even eternal implications. It’s physical, it’s emotional, it’s spiritual and it’s constant. No other profession surpasses this one in import, yet we spend little to no time training for it. To the extent we prepare for and engage ourselves in the profession of managing the home, we change the culture. To the extent we dismiss our professions, we change the culture.
We cannot escape our profound influence on the next generation. God has given it to us for our stewardship. We can choose to give it to someone else, but the responsibility is still ours in the end.
A book could be written on what this managing the home entails. My mind reels even now of so many areas that wives and mothers are influencing. But it doesn’t happen on the side. It’s not extra and it’s not easy. Sometimes it’s downright messy and all-consuming. But in God’s economy, it’s glorious.
Lately, it falls hard on my heart, the realization of how important it is to teach our children to think rightly. About everything. Deception runs rampant around us–in the church, in the media, in the schools–everywhere. As a society increasingly rejects God’s Word and His sovereignty in our lives, mayhem is the result. And the more rampant the deception around us, the more vigilance is required to offset it. I’m trying to say that a word here or there is not sufficient. We’re talking Deuteronomy 6 kind of teaching.
And why are so many adults being swept away by deception and following after the god of self? Primarily because as children, they weren’t “rooted” in truth. And a plant without roots is easily blown around “by every wind of doctrine.” (I should say here, that sometimes children rooted in truth still become deceived and choose to reject it. Still, our job to be faithful remains.)
Children grow up shaped by something. Every day someone will teach them, influence their thinking, sway their opinions, and lay the groundwork for their life choices. And that someone, that something, will affect everything they do, reaching even to their children and grandchildren, affecting their lives too.
It needs to be us. It needs to be us, transmitting to the generations coming after us, the truth of the gospel, the power of God to order our lives, the freedom of living for Christ when he shows up each day to guide our thoughts and choices. He changes everything when we let Him.
I have some new year’s goals. Really, they are the same goals I’ve always had. I just seem to be very bad at keeping them. Habits die hard and for us women, depending on your personality type probably more than anything, WE NEED TO BE REMINDED constantly in order to replace bad habits with new ones.
Growing in Christ means being deliberate, diligently adding to our faith virtue and to that knowledge, and then self-control, and perseverance, and godliness and kindness. This is my attempt to be more deliberate.
So I created this for me, to hang on my bathroom mirror and maybe over my kitchen sink. I. am. determined. You can print one off for free as well. Just add it to your cart and the full image will be sent to your inbox (check your junk folder if it doesn’t show up right away.)
Happy new year and let me know how the Lord is growing you!
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For eight years, I’ve been writing to women, from my heart, about the joys and challenges of motherhood, homeschooling, marriage and all things home. In these archives there are gems that get buried in the large number of articles. I have women often ask me for advice on certain topics and they so appreciate when I can point them to an older article that speaks to them right where they are.
So I’ve published Fiercely Devoted, Love Mom, where you can find the best, most helpful and practical information to meet you on your journey of motherhood and equip you to be a better mother and wife.
It’s the most popular, most shared and most loved articles of Generation Cedar all in one place.
You can read more and purchase it HERE.
The Christian life, and especially life as a mom, is largely about staying refreshed and renewed, being reminded about the important things and hearing from other women who are on the same journey. Life in the trenches can be daunting, at best. We need help! We need ideas, we need to be inspired to keep pressing on for the souls of these children with which we’ve been entrusted.
Generation Cedar has always been about encouraging, challenging and inspiring. I know I’ve needed that so much along the way, and I hope the articles here have helped you as well.
Fiercely Devoted is an exciting project for me to share with you because it’s the intensest part of this blog, the cream of the crop, and you don’t have to dive through 2,000 plus posts to find what you’re looking for. I’ve done the work for you and packaged all the most helpful articles into one place.
There’s also a bonus “book recommendation” list at the end for your new year’s inspiration!
This book is an excellent resource to share with a friend without overwhelming her. It’s finally here and it’s packed full of goodness!
“Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.”-Zig Ziglar
This philosophy is universal, but it sure does resonate with this mother. My main new year’s resolution is to simply be more sturdy and resilient.
“I want them to witness a serenity of character…a steadfastness of spirit, regardless of externals. I want them to see a calm captain at the helm of this ship….and rest in knowing they are safe in this harbor.”
I’m very optimistic by nature, but I’m still prone to get bent out of shape fairly easily.
We’ve been reading some books about “bygone days” and something that strikes me is how hardy those women were. I find it terribly ironic that in our day of “empowerment”, most women can’t hold a candle to the kind of pluck those pioneer women had!
What would you do if you didn’t have any food in the pantry? I would cry.
One woman we read of during a hard year pulled up her skirts, marched out into the woods and found weeds–yes I said “weeds” that were edible, canned them, and served her family using the most creative combination of spices she had.
Now that’s pluck, my sisters. She didn’t complain to her husband about his lack of provision, and by all appearances, she hardly missed a beat, determined to press on with her job to provide meals for her family.
Few of us are forced to face such dire circumstances. And I don’t know about you, but I still find it very easy to complain or get discouraged.
But I want my children to learn something different. I want them to witness a serenity of character. A steadfastness of spirit, regardless of externals. I want them to see a calm captain at the helm of this ship and rest in knowing they are safe in this harbor.
Admittedly, calmness is not my best trait. Chock it up to personality, life experiences or other unknown factors, I have quite a passionate personality which has its downfall in the sporadic notions of emotions out of control.
So this year I resolve to be a woman wearing the “ornament of a meek and quiet spirit”…notice “spirit.” Most women read that verse and picture a physically quiet, mousy girl with her head bowed low.
That’s not the picture. It’s the woman in control of herself–strong through and through, resolved to face trials and joy, whatever may come, like a placid river with its depths reaching deeply and drinking from the Source of all peace.
Let it be so…
If I’ve ever said this before, forgive me. But this may be the best article I’ve ever read on the meaning and importance of the home and family–homemaking, actually.
Profoundly thoughtful for every human (man and woman) and particularly inspiring if you already grasp the essence of home life, you want to go read Tyler Blanski’s In Defense of Domesticity.
Choosing a part to quote was painful–every word is quotable.
“So why do people still hold up the 1950s baking soda advertisement with a smiling woman, hair neatly coiffed, preparing a nutritious meal for her family, and say, “That serene smile is a lie”? In an era of Adbusters and critical thinkers, you’d think someone would hold up the 2015 advertisement with a smiling woman, hair asymmetrical and tapered in the nape, preparing a PowerPoint presentation for her clients, and say, “That serene smile is a lie!”…
Ask any ten people what they live for, and they will say their families. Few will admit that they live for money, or work, or power because it sounds shallow, and it is. So why do popular forms of feminist ideology talk as if living for family is vassalage, and living for a career is freedom?”
Confessions of a Struggling Christian Mom
I had a mom tell me recently that Christian women just aren’t transparent enough. That we are all looking in, from a distance, on other families, wishing we had it together like them, that our children behaved like those, that our life was going smoothly like hers.
Well I know it’s true of bloggers, sometimes, that people have an unrealistic view of them. So I’m writing to tell you something:
I am struggling SO MUCH as a mother this year. I won’t go into too many details, for the sake of protecting the dignity of my children, but I have a particularly difficult child (or two?) that has caused me to hurt like I’ve never hurt, to cry like I’ve never cried, and has even pushed me to moments I thought I might despair.
Rejoice, But Why?
But slooooooowly, I’m coming to the place where I can “rejoice” in the trials, only because He said to, and I have to trust that if they are working in my life for my good and His glory, then I should rejoice.
And this morning, I opened my own devotional, the one I wrote for when motherhood feels too hard, and read this:
“We strive–and there is a place for striving–but mostly we forget, ‘The Lord will go before you.’ We strive and fail, so we make more charts, try harder and finally give up…unless, at the end of our striving we realize, ‘His grace is sufficient for me; for when I am weak, then He is strong.’
Do I ever just leave the room, go to a quiet place, fall on my knees and strive there? What would life be like if I made a habit of this striving?
‘He is close to the broken and contrite.’
What is your wilderness? More importantly, what is it wringing out of your heart? A shaking fist, or the cry…’Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him”? Look past your present suffering. Thank God for the crucible that will melt away the dross.”
He is For Me
And I chose, today, to remember that life is not so much about easing my own pain, but walking faithfully through what the Lord gives me, looking only to HIM for my joy, believing that He is for me.
Friend, He is for you too, whatever trial you are walking through. Trust Him. And rejoice.
Every once in awhile someone writes words that miraculously encapsulate what I’m experiencing, and quite possibly have never even formed into thoughts or words myself. Such was How Mama Bear Hurts Her Family, by Jeanne Harrison.
I have no doubts, if you’re “one of these moms”, this article will resonate with you too, and bring a wave of comfort and important reminders to the way you live your life and treat your family.
“The truth is, you don’t have to be loud and obnoxious to be a Mama Bear. You just have to care too much about the well-being of your family. You have to idolize it, to bow down and worship it, so that if anybody in your household isn’t okay, nothing’s okay. You see, the thing about Mama Bears is that deep down, we long to control our universe so that we can protect the people we love.
I’ve known that Mama Bears (like me) are protective and controlling. But this was the first time I realized we’re also selfish. So selfish, in fact, that we’re willing to short-circuit what God wants to do in someone’s life just so we don’t have to endure the discomfort of watching it.” Read the rest at Revive Our Hearts
helping moms who struggle with being patient
I struggle being patient. Always have. And I hate it.
I asked the ladies on our Facebook page some of their biggest struggles as a mom, and patience came up repeatedly. So I’m not the only one. And neither are you!
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this phenomenon, how those of us who want so desperately to be patient struggle with that very thing.
I want to offer 3 things I think will help:
1. Effects and considerations of the consequences on our children
2. Possible causes
3. Solutions
Why is patience with our children so important?
There is the obvious–impatience can be ugly. And it can hurt. It can make our children feel like they aren’t good enough, or fast enough. It can cause real damage if impatience turns to constant anger. But at the same time, let me encourage you that we are human. It is humanly impossible to never display impatience. So while we don’t need to feel defeated, but rather repent and be humble about our shortcomings and sins, we do need to understand the seriousness of it so we have the proper motivation for change.
The biggest reason we need to pursue patience is that it is one of the fruits of the spirit and we are commanded to cultivate those qualities. Nothing–absolutely nothing–will help our children grow in patience more than having it modeled for them. It is difficult to be kind (the second fruit) when you aren’t being patient. We need to recognize the importance of working on being patient, and recognize the damage that can come from our impatience so that we are determined to do something about it.
Why Are We Impatient?
Personality. Perhaps everyone could answer this differently, but it helps to try to figure out where our triggers come from. As I’ve done some soul searching, I believe much of my impatience comes from expectations born out of my personality type. Maybe you can see yourself in this.
I am an INTP personality, and virtually can tolerate zero irrationality. Which, unfortunately, can often characterize young children’s behavior. Also, as a visionary, I can visualize, clearly, the “end product” of everything. I know how I want things to be and I can already see them, so when it comes to parenting, I can forget the loooooong process between now and then, forget the daily work that must be done to accomplish the long-term goals, forget the maturity that has to take place and the slow process of growing. I find myself thinking (or saying) “But I’ve already told you that. You know what to do/not to do.”
What I’m saying is, you might, by your very nature, struggle with being impatient. Own it. Deal with it.
Too busy. Secondly, the demands of daily life, no doubt, contribute the greatest challenge to parenting patiently. The more there is to do, the more the potential to deal with our children in anger or impatience.
Lack of training. In the busyness, it can be so easy to let behaviors go that gnaw away at our sanity. I have found that if I focus on training, it can go a long way to a more peaceful day. We tend to be distracted during times when our children are not obeying or are displaying some behavior that needs attention, and we can literally train them, if we’re not careful, to ignore our half-intended warnings, until we end up blowing a fuse when we have to address it for the third time.
Solutions.
Remember this first: our children are like lambs, given to us to shepherd. They are not complete, they are not yet wise, or mature. They aren’t trying to aggravate us. They need direction and they need it patiently. We can do this.
Regarding personality: we can’t let our expectations rule us. Yes, the end picture is important. But more importantly is remembering that children are children. We must simply expect to have to remind them of the same things over and over. Patiently. Let me suggest that as we remind, the more we praise their efforts and progress, the less reminding we’ll have to do in the future. Praising makes a child say, “Oh! I get it. This is what I’m supposed to do.” It’s far more motivating than an impatient tirade about “How many times have I told you.” Ask me how I know.
Regarding being too busy: I’m urging you to get rid of anything you can to help avoid distractions that cause irritability. Rearrange your schedule to pay bills when the kids are not needing to ask you questions every 5 minutes. Save your social media for later. You might even have to cut some things out of your schedule altogether.
Few things help me be patient more than slowing down and devoting the time needed to my childrens’ needs. I love this quote from Rachel Jankovic which reminds me:
“Motherhood is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.”
Being patient with our children is an integral part of our job. Realizing that helps us to ensure we are doing all we can to foster patience.
Regarding lack of training: Pay attention, calmly address the situation of disobedience, or squabbling, or whining, with appropriate discipline and an assuring control, and they’ll stop second-guessing your authority, bringing much-needed peace. I have also found, miraculously, they are just happier when you have drawn the safety of the boundaries and lovingly enforced them. It’s really quite refreshing and you’ll remember how important it is to be deliberate.
But the biggest solution of all…
Prayer, ladies. At the beginning of the day, you and God, on your knees, committing to crucifying the flesh THIS day, and asking for His grace on you, and through you. “You have not because you ask not.” Don’t let us be guilty of thinking we can man-handle our short-comings alone. We have a Heavenly Father who is for us, perfectly able to give us daily mercy. Ask Him, then purpose to get up off those knees and walk patiently with your little lambs.