Doesn’t God Give Us Wisdom? Thoughts on Children & Birth Control

“Doesn’t God give us the wisdom to decide how many children we should have? I mean, after all, we have to consider whether we can afford them, or how our emotional stress level is, etc. ” This is a common theory among Christians, and used to be my own theory regarding birth control. It is a multi-faceted debate, with many things to consider. But I’m going to try to keep it simple.

Scripture makes it clear that God gives wisdom “liberally to those who ask.”  Let’s start there–how many couples TRULY come before the Lord in the issue of child-bearing asking God for wisdom to discern His will? Most often, we simply follow the wisdom of the world, which is no wisdom at all, and contrary to godly wisdom. Proverbs urges us to “seek wisdom like a treasure”, and “sell all that you have in exchange for wisdom.”  There again, the indications are that we are not simply born with wisdom; we are given it from God when we seek it diligently.

Next point: how can we possibly make decisions based on our current circumstances when we have no idea how those circumstances are going to change? For example, a couple decides that they cannot “afford” more children (we’ll discuss what that really means in a sec). They can no more foresee what they can’t afford than what they can. Flip it around…they decide they CAN “afford” children. Three years later, hubby gets injured and is no longer able to work. Finances have just drastically changed. Now, they can’t afford children, because they have based their assumptions of affordability on the security of a job, instead of the faithfulness of their Heavenly Father. We cannot know what lies just ahead. God does. That’s why He’s so good at making life-changing decisions!

Another point on affordability: A Christian cannot believe that God gives life, and then desserts it. If He gives children, He promises to take care of them–of us. Remember his light scolding: “How much more valuable are you than the sparrows?” He is saying, “Look, I created the heavens and the earth, parted the Red Sea, raised people from the dead, I suspend the stars and clouds in the sky—I think I can handle a few bills.” We ought to be ashamed in our lack of exercise in faith!

Yet another point on “affording” children: What does that mean anyway? Most people mean to say rather, “If I had more than one or two, I couldn’t eat out every other night, I couldn’t outfit them all in Calvin Klein, or cell phones, or cars,…gee, I might have to reduce my standard of living a little bit–nah, I’ll just take one or two, thank you.” Thousands of mighty men and women grew up completely destitute of worldly goods. Having things, and even doing things STILL does not make one a better or happier person. And despite the evidence that it actually tends to have the opposite effect, we carry on with our selfish, lucrative lifestyles, keeping up with the Joneses. I think it was Tom Brokaw who wrote a book about “the most responsible generation.” And do you know which generation it was? The children who grew up during the Depression. Why do we think that spoiling our children is good for them? Satan is very clever indeed!

“I know me, and I don’t have the patience for more than one.” That may be true. And it may be true because you have not allowed the Lord to shape your character through the process of motherhood. Avoiding things that cause us discomfort is not the way we become saints of God. Obedience to Him, and then letting his grace be sufficient as he molds our spirits is the way.

Does God give us wisdom to decide how many children we should have? I say no. We have to seek it.