motherhood/family/parenting

I had the privilege of a young lady’s help over the weekend while my oldest daughter is away. We were hosting a wedding and she offered to come and “stand in” where needed, although she went far beyond her call of duty. (My house is so clean!)

Olivia is a young woman with vision…oh to have been prepared with that kind of vision at such a young age!

She enjoys helping moms not only because of her love for children, but because, as she put it, “I’m in training…where else could I get this kind of training for my desired profession?”

Certainly colleges can “prepare” you for any vocation your heart desires…except that one of motherhood. Boy is this the biggest oversight in the universe? The profession that determines the direction of the future of our nation doesn’t have a training course?

Well, it does, in fact, and it’s called HOME. But we no longer recognize it as a viable training ground for a real profession. So as our regard for the seriousness of HOME crumbles, so does the fabric of the culture. And we scratch our heads and wonder “why”.

As Olivia and I sat on the porch last night after a tiring day, we pondered a typical question of motherhood. “How does a mother maintain a close relationship with all her children (particularly if she has several)?” She had been asked this question by another worried mother.

Funny we sometimes make up our own definitions to suit how we think things need to be. I’ve heard many a mom say she doesn’t want more children because her relationships would suffer with them.

Really? So, if God made a woman to reproduce prolifically, He just “forgot” about the relationship part? He just didn’t think about it?

No, I believe it’s one more area where we assert our “wisdom”, the kind that isn’t always parallel to God’s.

If He gives me children, He provides–for all our needs, not just the physical ones. He forms those relationships in the context of the family he places them in, just as He wants them to be.

Is it a breeze? Of course not! It’s not supposed to be. It’s supposed to be, as someone mentioned in an earlier post, as much molding and chiseling of my character as it is theirs.

But the answer, simply put, is just in being there. When a mother is there she knows her children and they know her. She doesn’t have to abide the pop-psychology of spending uninterrupted hours of time with each child in order to develop the proper relationships–that’s absurd! That’s our own concocted formula.

She needs mostly just to be there. Providing for basic life-needs–the language of love to a child.

Listening to stories, bandaging cuts, wiping noses (and hineys!), providing an excited response to a new discovery, feeding mouths, filling minds, training hearts–those are the relationship builders that God put into place.

Relax. Just be there.

Motherhood is really, at its core, about perseverance and deliberate, focused endurance.

I don’t mean just the physical kind…more often, it is the emotional and spiritual kind. It requires the kind of tenacity that frankly, few women in our age are willing to develop.

Not the tenacity to simply run a household, though the mechanics of that are a very real part of our job. But the motherhood I’m talking about encompasses a whole world besides; a world where hearts are painstakingly drawn out, attitudes are carefully monitored and molded, and life-lessons that can only be taught through the zeal of a mother are learned.

Quite frankly, we’ve probably all had days we thought, “this would be easier if someone else were doing it”. And someone else might be able to handle those mechanics I mentioned.

But we’re talking about mother-love: that all-encompassing vocation that has been given only to us.

I get tired. I’m tired now, which is what prompted this post. I get grouchy, and start to look around and only see too many pairs of shoes out of place, dust under the couch, trash that could so easily be placed in the can left on the table until I point it out.

Painstaking.

But I MUST reboot, and remind myself that the mechanics–that is, how I handle the mechanics, are intricately tied to this bigger thing that we do…this growing of souls, and launching of good, sturdy men and women.

I cannot allow myself to be too tired for too long. Grace is given, yes, but then I must draw, not from my own strength, but from that source of never-ending power that comes from the One who has called me to this.

I have to re-think before I speak…the pile of shoes may be bothersome, but they also may be an opportunity to shape my character which will transfer to my children.

The moment of bickering calls me to dig deep into the well of my being and carves out of me a more patient and loving spirit–if I let it. That, too, is simultaneously working in my children’s character.

This short time is fleeting…they will carry a part of me into the rest of their lives. Which part?

Get alone, get quiet, get still. And ask the Lord to bring the vision back, if you are struggling to hold on to it.

This is big…rise to the occasion on the wings of Him Who is able.

Happy Birthday (one day late) to my sweet Bria! She was 15 yesterday…hard to believe. We watched videos of her when she was 5 singing her made up songs in over-dramatized fashion, laughing at her childish antics.

She is a gift from God. He has been so gracious to give me a servant through her. I take no credit for her thoughtfulness, her hard work ethic and her desire to serve her Heavenly Father.

She had a rough start with a terrible mom…a mom who still daily fails miserably.

And still He continues to chisel her into a jewel, and I watch in utter amazement at His work.

Bria has never been away from home and tomorrow she leaves with Mrs. Chancey to go to London! I am battling my fears/anxieties, and yet am so excited for this opportunity that she has always dreamed of. (She’s a huge Jane Austen fan 😉

She’ll be helping with the baby as Jennie gets the Jane Austen tour, scheduled for September, arranged.

Y’all pray for me…she is my right hand. I will be temporarily disabled 😉

Love you Sweetie!!!

(Sorry for all the Glenn Beck stuff lately 😉