Category:

motherhood/family/parenting

The Church’s Opinion of Children is One of its Greatest Weaknesses

by Kelly Crawford March 7, 2018

written by Kelly Crawford

I have a big beef with a large majority of Christian thinking and every now and then, the hornet’s nest gets kicked again and so, here we are.

First, let me tell you the story that prompted me to address this topic again.

A young couple with whom we are friends attend a smallish, typical conservative Baptist church. Conservative in the sense that they would say they hold to sound doctrine and practice biblical Christianity. Which has many definitions, but I digress.

Said church invited one of the missionaries they support to give an update, and at the end of his presentation where he thanked them for their support, he made an announcement: “We’re expecting a baby!”

My friends said you could hear a pin drop. This would be the couple’s sixth child. He said their faces were horrified.

Now we could unpack that:

Here’s a couple in the ministry of the Great Commission, depending on the financial support of others to take care of them. (I have no idea of their financial situation or if they had other employment, etc. But for the story, let’s assume he doesn’t.) How dare they have more of their own children to have to pay for and care for on someone else’s dime, right? Is that what everyone thought?

Or was it more of a typical aversion to the more-than-average size of the family? I don’t know. But here’s my beef:

If the Great Commission is important (it is) and is the main command Jesus gave to us before He left (it was) and our work here (according to Scripture) is to be about the business of bringing others to Christ, being eternally minded and ministering to our neighbors in the name of Jesus (it should be), then why in Sam Hill does one’s own children not fit into that? (It does.)

The church is psychotic when it doesn’t recognize the value of Christians having children but then whines and complains about all the evil in the world. (My friend, a young mother of 3, went on to tell me that she had not received any kind of emotional or physical support from the women in this church–the one they just left, by the way.)

Do you know where change begins? With us. With ourselves, our homes, our children and our churches. When God’s people multiply, there isn’t a Christian alive who shouldn’t rejoice in that. And the financial argument is a weak straw man. If that is our greatest concern with other people having children to be raised to love the Lord (reminder: Jesus was never very concerned about material things), then put your money where your mouth is and help them out financially.

We could change the landscape of society if we just understood this one thing. If every church got this, and encouraged their couples when they had children, and helped them, and stood with them, the godly seed that God so desires of His people would begin to be scattered, and the Lord would “build His church and the gates of hell could not prevail against it.”

Of course this idea is predicated on the assumption that Christian families truly understand the grave responsibility to immerse their children in the Word of God, to live humbly and faithfully before them, to show them what it is to live a life given to Christ, so that they (hopefully, prayerfully) grow up to carry on the Great Commission to their part of the world.

One problem seems to be built on another. Once we lose our sight about the mission of children, we fail to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and then we do get caught up in a worldly cycle of seeing our children more like commodities and liabilities, and who wants more of those?

Wake up Church. The heritage God has so richly offered us in our children is beyond measure! His plan has always been that we would, like warriors, fill the world and send them out to continue to live the Good News of Jesus Christ and offer hope to a broken and suffering world.

Children are our greatest asset. We should encourage them, support them, pray for them and rejoice when they come. For of such is the very Kingdom of Heaven.

March 7, 2018 23 comments

large families motherhood/family/parenting

Mom, Do You Have a Heart for Missions? Here’s Your Test

by Kelly Crawford March 4, 2018

written by Kelly Crawford

I knew a missionary named Cassie.

Cassie had prepared for the mission field her whole life. She was passionate about the gospel and had surrendered her life to the Great Commission– the ministry of discipleship.

It wasn’t easy for her. The demands of the mission field were hard on her body (she was kind of a frail person.). Sometimes just the long hours she labored in the heat–she didn’t have the luxury of air conditioning–took its toll on her. Sometimes she got sick but the people there needed her so she had to keep going.

Cassie she never flinched. Though her body was frail, she was strong. Her love for the Lord was unwavering, and it drove her on to minister to the people there, and she did it without complaining.

She and her husband suffered poverty, distress, hostility and sickness, none of which deterred them from their love and commitment to the people God had placed in their lives to minister to. They could see past the temporal hardship because what they were doing had eternal consequence. It WAS hard….but their love for God’s people drove them on.

Cassie is….a mom. The mission field I just described is her home. Those people she has devoted her life to are her children and her neighbors.

Is there something inside you that suddenly feels differently about Cassie than you did at first? Do you know why that is? Because you don’t think that what you do in your home is as important as what someone else is doing out there.

All of us are guilty of having grand, noble thoughts when we think of foreign missions or other organized ministries–and we should. We should. It’s a life of hard work and sacrifice–more than we will ever know, and more than Cassie will ever know– and we should be supporting missionaries who give their lives to the mission field.

But, we don’t give equal weight to the ministry of motherhood; another mission field where people are discipled, where the Great Commission is carried out daily. That’s the heart of the gospel–bringing souls to Him. And even if you understand the blessing and gift of children, you still don’t grasp the full weight of the ministry of this mission field that you’re in, and a failure to do so has grave consequences.

Well I can tell you that the world doesn’t see the importance of what you do either, but that’s not our business. We are in the business of pleasing God, not each other. Amen? And so I want to talk to YOU about your job. It doesn’t matter what other people think.

But it matters colossally, what you think.

Because listen: the pervading sense of non-importance the culture attaches to motherhood affects how you think about it and when we can’t see the importance of our job, we easily become frustrated and unhappy. And nothing affects our effectiveness or lack of, more than how we see our role.

Rachel Jankovic said:

“It is easy to think you have a heart for orphans on the other side of the world, but if you spend your time at home resenting the imposition your children are on you, you do not. You cannot have a heart for the gospel and a fussiness about your life at the same time…You cannot have a heart for missions, but not for the people around you. A true love of the gospel overflows and overpowers. It will be in everything you do, however drab, however simple, however repetitive.”

That convicts me so deeply. Does it you?

So many times we find ourselves feeling guilty for not doing enough and so there’s this pressure to participate in ministries outside of the full time mission we already have at home. And that can leave us stretched too thin to be an effective minister to our families.

Some of you sitting here are struggling with the thoughts that you aren’t doing enough.

And there are seasons for different women. There are times when a woman is freer to participate in things she may not be able to in the throes of motherhood. The ministry of home will naturally flow out to others around it, in due time.

But the church is not telling the mother in that busy season that she already has a mission field, that her job in this season is enough.

So I’m here to tell you that your mission field is enough.

A journalist once asked Mother Teresa, after all her years of missions work and after all of the hurt and brokenness she has seen, what is the one thing people can do to change the world. Her answer? “Go home, and love your family.”

Because the world is changed one home at a time and a Jesus-lovin mama who gratefully embraces her mission field is a powerful catalyst for that change.

So why is the mission field of motherhood so overlooked? Wrong thinking–thinking that’s rooted in the flesh, that crept into the church and into our own thoughts. And it’s important that we understand this and work on dispelling the wrong ways we think about children and motherhood, and be able to give an answer. Because the truth is, since the thinking of the world has so infected the church, when you devote your life to the mission field of home, you aren’t going to be understood, sometimes even by other Christians.

So what are a few of the reasons–the wrong thinking that causes us to fail to see motherhood as a mission field?

We’ve lost sight of the purpose of children and the way God views them.

We need to understand God’s view of children, because it changes the way we live, the way we parent–it changes everything.

So if children are just a commodity, the way our culture often treats them, if they are simply an asset to me, or a liability as they are sometimes treated, something to fulfill my life, something I do because having children is the norm, that radically shapes my life choices.

But if I see children the way God sees them–godly seed to be raised up to glorify Him and advance the Kingdom of God, gifts given to me as a heritage of the Lord, over which I am to be a steward and of which I must give an account, that radically shapes my life choices.

The second problem with our thinking is that our timetable is so different than God’s. In our “instant gratification” society, where world news is 5 seconds away, we grow impatient. And that impatience flows to the rest of our lives. We want to see results, even in ministry…especially in ministry. We want big numbers and we want them fast. Those are the ministries that look important to us.

Now certainly, throughout history, God has orchestrated times of mass conversion, but typically, from Scripture, that’s not how He’s chosen to do ministry.

In the 3 years Jesus was on earth, he had about 125 true converts at the end of his time.The Son of God, the perfect missionary. See God works over large spans of time and those seeds Jesus planted, they’re still growing, more than 2,000 years later. He didn’t fret about the small numbers or the time it took him to pour into other’s lives, because He worked on God’s time-table. He never measured success by numbers. And he was content to do the next thing, even if he couldn’t see the results, because He knew God would fulfill his purposes.

One of a mother’s greatest needs is long-term vision. We absolutely have to have faith in the harvest that God will bring IN HIS TIME. We will plant seeds that we will never see come to fruition. You’re not going to see some of your great grand children, but we’re living now for them. And that’s OK because it’s not about us and our results.

3. Another big problem is that even though we hear it from the pulpit, we read about and think it’s great, we mostly don’t apply it to real life. And that’s the idea of living in absolute humility–we talk about it, but it’s hard to live out. True humility is to be content with God’s favor, losing our lives to save them, focused on eternity and being OK if we never receive any recognition of man.

There was a lot in that sentence. Do you know the peace we could have if we learned to live the kind of life Jesus lived, with His face set like flint, oblivious to the opinions of others, just being about His Father’s business?

What is the mission field?

It’s where we live out the Great Commission. It’s where discipleship happens. And mom there is no mission field riper than your home. God has hand-picked you to raise the disciples in your home. We can’t treat that lightly.

Now am I saying that there is no room for any ministry outside our family, that our children should never see us reach out beyond our homes? Actually, quite the opposite. The mission field of home encompasses those around us, and it should come quite naturally for our lives to be a living example of readiness and willingness to minister to those God puts in our paths.

Thinking about my example of Cassie, let’s stop categorizing “important” missions, but failing to see the abundant mission field right here in the everyday, where Jesus urged us to be faithful.

March 4, 2018 15 comments

motherhood/family/parenting

This New Parenting Trend is Not Good For Kids (And What They Really Need)

by Kelly Crawford February 26, 2018

written by Kelly Crawford

It’s fascinating to watch yo-yo parenting trends come and go, but not always so fascinating to see how they affect children.

Overhearing a young mom recently inspired me to consider and write something that might help us keep our balance.

She and a friend were talking, and I heard her say, “Well, we were late this morning, again, because Natalie couldn’t decide what to wear. I really want her to make her own decisions…” and I missed some of the remaining conversation. I did discover, however, that Natalie is 2.

So let’s talk for a minute…

I’m a huge proponent of moving kids toward independence and so I understand this rationale. My 4 year old loves to make his own sandwiches, and I let him, even though it’s messier.

But this new trend of insisting our youngest children make every decision can cause some major problems, and I’ve noticed that it can easily and quickly lead to a child-centered life.

For one, it is overwhelming. A two year old isn’t mentally equipped to make a hundred little decisions a day, outside of normal play-time decisions. Children need guidance and that includes having a parent take care of basic decision-making to free them up to learn age-appropriate lessons. We’re in charge and when we act like it, it protects them from overload.

More importantly, it insinuates too much authority. When a young child is accustomed to making all the decisions, the balance of authority is lost, and she becomes confused when it is necessary to concede to her parents’ wishes.

Perhaps the knee-jerk trend to be equals with our children comes from the history of assumed over-bearing authority from parents–you know the stories your parents tell. But we don’t have to parent in ditches. Maintaining respect and a rightful position of authority may be one of THE most important parts of healthy parenting, and I’m afraid we’ve lost it to a large degree. Parents may have been more overbearing and even harsh with their children in bygone years, but they were respected, and a great deal of good came from that as their children turned into adults.

Children still want boundaries. They want to test a safety net and know it’s going to hold. They understand, even if they can’t articulate it, that healthy authority is safe and loving. We can’t parent in fear of our children not liking us or somehow harming them if we act like the parent.

The key is in loving them, enjoying them, and establishing clear boundaries and then enforcing those boundaries.

They are happier and we are happier when we lovingly hold a place of respect where obedience is expected and required.

The alternative is not very pretty or healthy.

Get my newest book, 10 Secrets to Raising Happier Kids!

February 26, 2018 3 comments

motherhood/family/parenting

10 Secrets to Raising Happier Kids

by Kelly Crawford February 5, 2018

written by Kelly Crawford

Parenting sure has changed a lot since I was a kid, and most definitely since my parents were kids. Listening to my father tell stories from his childhood (he was born in 1950) leaves my mouth gaped open. Life was hard. Period. Physically, they had very, very little. I mean dirt floors at one point and a few homemade clothes.

Emotionally, their parents were surviving; so there was precious little left over to give their children, and the idea of helping them feel validated or affirming their feelings, or providing in any way over basic food and shelter was rare. My grandfather made my 10 year old father shoot his longed-for and beloved horse when it broke its leg.

They grew up on grit.

Every time I hear a young adult begrudge his parents for some petty thing, imagined in his mind to be near-abusive, I shake my head and think of my Mom and Dad, who are well-adjusted adults with far greater contentment and sense of self-worth than many teenagers today, who underwent things I don’t wish on my enemies.

And while that was a bit random, I do enjoy thinking of the paradox of these things.

If you scroll the Internet for “ways to raise happy kids” you’ll certainly find some helpful tips. But I wonder if some of them have backfired. Thinking about my parent’s generation, contrasted with today’s, seeing that the level of discontentment, self-inflicted harm and in general, level of unhappiness seems even higher now, despite prosperity and a heightened awareness of parenting technique, I want to offer some timeless ideas I have about how to raise happier kids.

Let them figure things out and become independent. As kids grow older, I think they will either find a great sense of worth in being able to do things on their own and solve their own problems, or become frustrated if they can’t. In our parent’s generation, they often had to fend for themselves and were given far greater responsibilities at earlier ages. But ironically, it seemed to breed a sense of worth and accomplishment that aided their emotional development. From a young age, when children are given appropriate challenges to figure out, they grow in independence and consequently, contentment.

Let them go without. The verdict is out: simply, kids who are given everything they want seem to become more discontent over time. If they get everything they desire, they tend to measure their happiness based on getting those things, and we all know the truth of that bottomless pit. Sometimes “no” is in order. (This one is hard for me, as it is for all parents. But I have to remind myself of the irony, and practically speaking, we can’t provide their every wish anyway, so it works out.)

Closely related to the last one, let them earn money to buy their own things. They not only appreciate them more, it builds confidence in their ability to solve a practical problem and equips them for grown up life when we all realize that we actually do have to work for the things we want.

Talk about our reasons for gratitude. I constantly remind my children about the need to consciously be thankful for things easy to take for granted. Lots of mornings, I start the day discussing how a large percentage of the world’s population doesn’t enjoy the same freedoms, doesn’t always have plenty to eat, doesn’t always have a warm, cozy place to sleep, or parents, etc. Perspective is everything.

Work on unity with your spouse. The stability of home life has a huge impact on children. If they feel like Mom and Dad are OK, mostly the world is OK.

Help them see their worth in the qualities that matter. Praising them for their beauty or athletic ability is tempting; it’s far better to point out what is inherently valuable about their character. Kindness, humility, gratitude–the things that really matter are what they need to hear make them special.

Don’t go overboard on the feelings. It seems to me that we have raised an overly sensitive generation where feelings are paramount. This seems to be one of the huge distinguishing factors from my parent’s generation. Feelings are valid; but feelings don’t need to rule. Sometimes, feelings just have to be pushed aside for the task at hand. Sometimes, I have to suppress what I feel in order to treat a person the way God has asked me to. Feelings can deceive, and feelings can exaggerate a situation. We need to find a good balance.

Remind them that keeping the needs of others in front of them has great personal reward. Self focus has a low return. True contentment comes from putting others first, just as God knew when He commanded that we do it, having our best interest in mind. (Isn’t it cool that the command wasn’t just for others? It is for us as much.)

Like your kids. That’s not the same as doting on them or giving them everything. In fact, liking them specifically means that sometimes you’ll say, with a smile, “Gosh I hate that you’re mad at me about that, but look at me–I love you so much.” It’s a simple, profoundly effective means of raising happy kids. Cultivate a relationship with them. Eat around the table together. Ask questions. Hug them. Smile at them. Children who are liked have a much higher chance of being happy.

I don’t think it’s rocket science, and I think parents are inherently equipped to raise healthy, happy children when they don’t read too much or give in too much to peer pressure. Here’s to parenting: it isn’t that hard.

GET THE EXPANDED BOOK VERSION HERE!

February 5, 2018 10 comments

pregnancy/birth control

We Need More Arrows: Christians & The Kingdom

by Kelly Crawford January 29, 2018

written by Kelly Crawford

The question of having children, fertility, birth control, which I fear, too few Christians have really wrestled over, is not about combing through Scripture to find all the evidence for or against allowing God to be sovereign over the womb. It’s not about concluding that “God gives us the wisdom to decide” and then breathing a sigh of relief. It’s not even about splitting hairs over choosing if and when to prevent children (sometimes that’s necessary and right).

Children–which are really just people, are so much bigger than that.

“And why did He make them one? Because He desires godly offspring.” (Malachi)

WHY? Because “like arrows in the hand of a mighty warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.”

WHY? Because “they shall contend (speak) with the enemies in the gates.” (Which doesn’t denote hand-to-hand combat in a war-like setting, but a contending on an intellectual level and in a living life way, so there’s no need for feeling creepy about the use of the word.)

WHY? Because “thou shalt have no other gods before me.”

And that commandment was not a personal one. It was spoken to a nation, and still is. God’s reign over all creation is preeminent and He uses His people to make known His glory among all nations.

Our problem? We make everything too personal. We don’t understand God’s sovereign purposes as it relates to the BIG picture. We need more big-picture living.

And as it relates specifically to having children, we assess our personal situation, and decide that God couldn’t possibly mean us with all that talk of desiring godly offspring. But it’s so not about whether I can afford to send them to college, or buy them a car, or let them all play sports. We are blinded by temporal, passing circumstances.

And while God is immensely concerned with our personal lives, He is even MORE concerned with fulfilling His Kingdom purposes. And how does He do that?

One way is THROUGH HIS PEOPLE! And practically speaking, through numbers.

We no longer live in the Christian nation that was born here. Why are the enemies of God prevailing? Because the people of God are not raising up warriors to “contend with them at the gates.” God will prevail, despite our obedience to Him. It just may delay the victory and cause unnecessary hardship on His people in the mean time.

Our methodologies are not working. We have more programs, more money, more evangelical tools now than ever before in history. Yet the spiritual temperature of this country continues to decline. Christians decrease (in number and in moxie), and the religions that oppose God increase. We fret and worry, but we don’t trust God at His Word.

It’s about vision. If you have chosen to stop having children, you should be the biggest cheerleader for those who haven’t–believers should be ecstatic to see a mother and father raising up more godly men and women to further the mission of the Gospel. We are one Body, longing for His Kingdom to come, and we have the opportunity to be a joyful part of it. And when we see children as an important part of His purpose in the big picture, we might not be so short-sighted or flippant about our decisions. We might get excited at the prospect of a life fully entrusted to an all-powerful God where we can’t wait to wake up each day and see what He’s going to do.

(And for those who are receiving all their children, it’s not so we can dress them in matching clothes and fit in to our local homeschool group…it’s not about us at all! His glory…His purposes.)

The war is certain; you have no choice about being in it. We need more arrows.

(A post buried in the archives I’ve resurrected and reposted.)

January 29, 2018 40 comments

motherhood/family/parenting

Best Motherhood Book Ever is FREE on Kindle Unlimited Right Now!

by Kelly Crawford January 23, 2018

written by Kelly Crawford

Well, I’ve been told it’s one of the best motherhood books and since I still read this daily devotional myself to lift me out of the trenches and completely renew my parenting perspective, I agree it’s powerful and so very needed, even if I did write it.

I have reformatted When Motherhood Feels Too Hard for easier reading (and updated the cover!) and to reintroduce it to Amazon Kindle, it’s FREE right now (on Kindle Unlimited) for a limited time.

I really want every mother I can reach to have an opportunity to read it. In the big picture, our parenting perspective changes the way we do life, and has a tremendous impact on many generations coming. That’s a pretty big deal.

So go HERE and grab it or if you’ve already read it, consider sharing this news with someone you think would be encouraged.

Also, if you read it (or already have) please take a second and leave a review–I’d be so grateful!

How has this devotional helped you specifically? I would so love to hear!

January 23, 2018 9 comments

motherhood/family/parenting

Raising Our Children to See God in the Moments

by Kelly Crawford January 17, 2018

written by Kelly Crawford

Morning bible reading–check.

Family worship–check.

Church on Sunday–check.

I think these activities are the under-girding of the Christian life and are needful and good.

But I don’t think they are the essence of teaching our children to walk daily with the Lord, to cultivate a living, breathing relationship with the Creator.

It begins with the simplest of observations:

“This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

Everything points to Him and its part of our job to show them.

If I could summarize what I believe is the most important thing we do as mothers, it would be “teaching God in the moments.” That is what we are called to. And the lack of this vision is why so many mothers don’t feel the gravity of their job, and either become bored or exhausted with the “mundane.”

We get bogged down with the daily things to be done, and forget the eternal threads weaving it all together.

I also wonder if it’s why so many children grow up to have “a form of godliness” but deny any power of it.

Are we raising church-goers or disciples of Christ?

“Susie, sit at the table and eat with your mouth closed.”

Yes, but why?

Not necessarily because manners are good; why are they good? “Because the Bible says to love your neighbor as yourself, and this is one way we show love.”

“Tommy, don’t yell at your brother for knocking down your lego house.”

Yes, but why?

“Because the Bible says that a man who doesn’t have control over his own spirit is like a city with broken down walls.”

“Mary, please help your sister make up her bed.”

Yes, but why?

“Because the Bible says to serve as Jesus served.”

Sweet Mama, you have a thousand glorious moments a day to lead your children to the Creator of the Universe, giving them His directives for how to do life. Believe that your work will not return void, even if you don’t see the results right now. With God as our strength, let us seek to live it first, then teach “God in the moments” to our children.

January 17, 2018 13 comments

christian living motherhood/family/parenting

The Secret to Abundant Life

by Kelly Crawford January 14, 2018

written by Kelly Crawford

There is always another floor to sweep, another closet to arrange, the yard to mow, the thing to repair.

We are never done, but we keep working like we think we can get done.

And life gets crowded with the essentials and we lose our smiles.

And kindness.

And we become more automatic than full, creative, life-filled creatures.

“I have come that you may have life and have it more abundantly.” -Jesus

Abundant life.

That’s not better cars and bigger houses and more vacations.

In fact, there’s irony in “abundance.”

The more we have the more we have to keep up with and repair and maintain.

Abundance is a fullness of life, only possible through the grace and love our Lord Jesus can give us.

It’s a spiritual abundance that fills us with security and peace, knowing that even if it doesn’t all get done, there is more to life than my check list. This life will end and we will go to scoop up our stored treasures.

Abundance spills out of me onto those around me. And even while I must do the daily things that beckon me, they don’t own me and that knowledge gives me back my smile and lets me remember the most important things in life–

the people here.

Smile first, hug always, never be too busy to listen–really, fill a need, forgive no matter what, and follow the prompting that tells you to “stop and love” and your life will grow into abundance.

January 14, 2018 31 comments

church/children's ministry homeschooling motherhood/family/parenting

The Proper View of Family (Are We Too “Inward Focused?”)

by Kelly Crawford January 8, 2018

written by Kelly Crawford

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about something a (Christian) commenter said on a recent post, “Learning to Think Rightly About Birth Control“:

“I really struggle with labeling the family as “the ripe mission” field and creating a “mini-church” in the family. Honestly this is probably the main reason I don’t homeschool beyond preschool–it’s a little to inward focused for me.”

She was trying to make the point that “the whole world is our mission field” and that paying too much attention to our families discounted the fact.

My heart breaks over this, a common view of family among Christians, who assert that the homeschooling movement has “created an idol of the family” (though some very well may have), giving a knee-jerk reaction that misses the biblical view of family and ultimately destroys this mission field first given to us.

Scripture is saturated with the proper view of the family, analogous to the church and the relationship between the Father and the Son. The institution of marriage was initiated by God, not the state, and was set in motion to be the very picture of a fruitful, thriving church.

Yes, the family is meant to look like a “mini-church” in the way it operates.

Dr. Joseph Atkinson writes:

“The family offers Christ and intercedes for its own members and those around it (priestly); the family is a sign of Christ’s love and faithfulness to a world that is enmeshed in the culture of death (prophetic); and the family serves its own members and those around it sacrificially (kingly).

By participating in the saving and redemptive nature of the Church, the family is profoundly rooted in the Church’s mission. The family has truly become a little church, or as it is better known, a domestic church.”

Regarding the original comment, there is hardly such a thing for a mother or father of young children to be “too inwardly focused”. In fact, during the young family’s life, it is probable that discipling their children, providing for their spiritual, emotional and physical needs is ALL they can do and these families need to understand that IT IS ENOUGH.

Theological Error (Ideas have consequences.)

I think our faulty view of the family stems from some theological error. First, we have “now-centered” thinking where God works over long periods of time to accomplish His purposes. So our evangelical mission is focused on making fast numbers instead of a seeing a steady growth of solid disciples brought up by solid Christian families, who will, in the right time, become ministers all over the earth. We can’t save people; we can only live for Him and be ready to give an answer of the hope that is ours. Therefore, the way we live–the way we operate in our families (since it is a living picture of the gospel)–is paramount.

Secondly, because of the accepted norm of birth control, life is now something we think we can choose or not, so children have become less valuable, more of a commodity and not viewed in our eyes as the Lord views them…”…for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.” We don’t even realize it has happened, but it can be clearly seen as evidenced in comments like the one that prompted this post. Truly, our family is a mission field, ripe unto harvest, and until we have come to a correct perspective on our duties there, we are not fit for evangelism anywhere else.

God sent His son for the most dynamic Christian mission the earth has ever known, and yet we have no record of his ministry until he was in his thirties. When he left, he had around 150 disciples. Compared to our mega-church mentality, his mission work wasn’t too impressive. But He was about His Father’s business and He knew the long-term vision and the importance of investing in a few disciples, day in and day out, so they would survive the long haul, bearing fruit in their season.

One passage of Scripture that has become almost obsolete gives us a closer look at the importance of family:

“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8

This passage refers primarily to financial provision. We know from Scripture that the spiritual life of a man is of far more importance than his physical life, and yet this verse speaks so strongly about the lesser of the two. How much more, if we do not give ourselves to the spiritual provision of our families, are we at fault?

The Heart of the Matter

“Give me your heart, my son.”

This is no longer the plea of the modern, Christian parent. Getting the hearts of our children is essentially “the heart” of discipleship, clearly demonstrated by our Savior as he walked with his earthly children. It is impossible to understand the necessity of this discipleship and worry about “too much inward focus.”

As a family functioning as it should (notwithstanding its own difficulties), it becomes the “city on a hill” the light in a dark world, the most effective form of evangelism.

We had better get inward focused if we want to see real outward change in the world for Christ.

January 8, 2018 61 comments

motherhood/family/parenting

5 Ways Parents Can Learn From Daniel & Raise Men & Women of Excellence

by Kelly Crawford January 3, 2018

written by Kelly Crawford

Do you ever look around and wonder where the outstanding men and women of the younger generation are? Do you ever read historical biographies and find the young, upright characters almost unbelievable compared to today’s youth?

We seem to be breeding a culture of mediocrity. Young people who lack that kind of fortitude and character capable of weathering any storm. I’m appalled these days at how many reports I hear of men losing their jobs and suffering hardship and reacting to that hardship by murdering their families and then committing suicide….men who simply haven’t been equipped to withstand the storm.

And then there’s the dilemma I’ve heard circulating among companies and employers: the immense dearth of employees who are faithful, hard-working and EXCELLENT at their jobs.

Where are they? What have we done?

Our Sunday night Bible study has been studying Daniel for the past several weeks. I think every family should delve into the life and story of Daniel.

Daniel was very young when he went into the service for the king. The king was a wicked and harsh man and Daniel exhibited excellence of character at every turn. Read through that book with new eyes.

When it’s all said and done, this is what we really want for our kids–to launch them out, even among a godless culture, and see them stand firm and hold fast, no matter the cost.

A friend recently shared with me how her two homeschool-graduate sons were doing in their classes at college. She humbly expressed gratitude that their professors seemed to be overwhelmed with their character, introducing them to colleagues at every chance, and in general, praising them for their diligence in their work and their outstanding communication skills. It’s as if they’ve discovered a rare treasure among their students.

“Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will stand before kings; He will not stand before obscure men.” Proverbs 22:29

How do parents raise children to be “skilled in his work?” Excellent? Resilient? (Bear in mind the “excellence” I’m describing here is not arrogance but diligence, and the portrayal of godly character.)

It starts right at the beginning, just like everything else. And it involves intensity of effort on our parts. (Anything good requires intense effort!) Here are a few things I thought of that would help us raise children of excellent character:

Give them responsibility as early as possible, and praise their efforts. As soon as a baby can walk, he can begin to help. Let him know that his help is valuable–picking up a block, throwing a piece of trash away, etc. Increase that work according to ability.

Hold up examples of excellence. Again I say, read great biographies–these are great tools for “showing” your children what godly character looks like, and how a life is blessed by excellence of character. Great, inspirational movies are also a good tool.

Model it. We can’t miss the obvious. How do you respond to life situations? Are you honest? Level-headed? Do you go to the Bible for insight in handling situations?

Don’t say “YES” to everything. Parents have the grave misconception that to love them is to give them everything and not to deny their every want. I submit this can be detrimental to a child’s character. Of course we enjoy giving good gifts to our children, but they also need to learn to be content and to see us exercising wisdom as we make choices.

Teach them the Word of God. Another obvious one, but how many of today’s youth are really being saturated with the instruction of Scripture? Do they know what the Bible says about how to handle situations? It’s more than attending church on Sundays too. It’s daily implanting the Word in their hearts “when we rise up, when we lie down, when we sit in our house, and when we walk by the way.”
And a bonus: let them fail without running to their rescue or shaming them. Both extremes are harmful. Experience is a great teacher. Sometimes our best response might be something like: “I’m sorry about ____. I know you’ll figure it out. Consequences can be hard.”

Can I just say it again…it’s WORK!!!! And that is exactly what we have been called to. Roll up those sleeves 😉

January 3, 2018 7 comments

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motherhood/family/parenting

I knew a missionary named Cassie.

So I’m here to tell you that your mission field is enough.

So what are a few of the reasons–the wrong thinking that causes us to fail to see motherhood as a mission field?

What is the mission field?

GET THE EXPANDED BOOK VERSION HERE!

Children–which are really just people, are so much bigger than that.

I really want every mother I can reach to have an opportunity to read it. In the big picture, our parenting perspective changes the way we do life, and has a tremendous impact on many generations coming. That’s a pretty big deal.

But I don’t think they are the essence of teaching our children to walk daily with the Lord, to cultivate a living, breathing relationship with the Creator.

Theological Error (Ideas have consequences.)

The Heart of the Matter

We had better get inward focused if we want to see real outward change in the world for Christ.

When it’s all said and done, this is what we really want for our kids–to launch them out, even among a godless culture, and see them stand firm and hold fast, no matter the cost.

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