Category:

motherhood/family/parenting

Say "No" to Anxiety, "Yes" to Dominion Work

by Kelly Crawford February 8, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

Anxiety is certainly a common visitor these days as we watch the culture become increasingly hostile to Christianity.

But wait…anxiety is a sin.

The message we heard at church this morning meshed with the 40th chapter of Isaiah I had just read and I left feeling so free from anxiety. Free, and at peace, and almost ecstatic.

And ever more inspired as a mother!

I’ll try to be brief as the thoughts overflow from a storehouse tonight, but the message discussed how our eschatology “comes out our fingertips” and determines the way we live and think.

Eschatology is one’s view of the end times.

Unpopular as it may be, we believe in a “post-millennium” view of the end times. We believe (and our belief is based on much-studied Scripture and commentary, not just a “picked out of the air theology) that the Bible teaches before the final end of times, the world will actually grow increasingly more saturated with the gospel.

A brief look at our small time and space right here in history doesn’t seem to point to that view, but a broad sweep of history, over the last 6,000 years reveals that God’s kingdom has steadily gained momentum in the world.

As such, we believe that man’s taking dominion is still in progress, and that God delights in working generationally (always has) through time and that the work we are doing now will have an impact on the culture for years to come.

We do not believe in cowering in a corner, holding on by our fingernails watching the sky for His return at any second. We look forward to it, YES, but we believe there is still work to do, (“when you see these signs–wars, natural disasters, etc….the time is NOT YET come”).

We know that God is sovereign, NOTHING surprises Him, not one molecule is out of His control, and His purposes are being fulfilled in everything.

AND…we are an integral part of that plan! We are not to fret over evildoers, but to persevere in obedience, not grow weary in well-doing, and REJOICE always, especially amidst a dark and gloomy culture.

We cherish the womb because it is our first perpetuation of the gospel through the ages. We think generationally–what can I do now that will impact my grandchildren? How am I raising my children to bring up another strong, godly generation? We are important stepping stones in the fulfilling of God’s ultimate purposes.

Hang on, gals! Walk straight, let serenity be your cloak; look nowhere but heavenward for your cues. And see in your children your great-grand children, and let that spur you on to finish the race that is set before you.

Do not be dismayed at what is around you! “The nations are as a drop in the bucket”, says the Lord”–from Isaiah 40

For even Satan is bound by the Word of the Lord and is only allowed reign where God gives it.

February 8, 2009 10 comments

Catechizing Your Children–Don’t Worry, It Doesn’t Hurt

by Kelly Crawford February 7, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

Some may have never even heard the term “catechism”, so, briefly, it is a summary of the basic Christian beliefs in a Q & A format.

Years ago, catechizing children–that is, having them memorize the catechisms–was as natural for a Christian parent as teaching their children their ABC’s.

Currently, few Christians even know what it means. I submit that the loss of the catechism tradition plays a huge part in why many Christians are so shallow in their knowledge of theology and the Bible.

As a parent, few things are as important as teaching our children how to handle the Word of God–which begins with the basic tenets of our beliefs. It should be FIRST on our list!

And the catechisms make it so easy. To a parent who asks, “How do I teach the Word of God to my children?” There isn’t an easier answer than to begin with the simple instruction of the catechisms.

We prefer the Shorter Catechisms with our children–and even as named such, there are 107 questions and answers to prove challenging to even adults!

As already mentioned, great spiritual heroes of the past were taught these tenets of the faith as early as they could talk, and expected to learn them before anything else.

I admit that we have waxed and waned in our teaching of the catechisms. But my husband and I were talking last night that we need to revisit the practice and see it through.

These make GREAT exercises for school, by the way, particularly incorporated into copy work.

I challenge you…it may seem overly simple or pointless, but I think you’ll be amazed at how much wisdom and knowledge is imparted through these questions, and how often you’ll refer back to them as you daily instruct your children.

February 7, 2009 22 comments

motherhood/family/parenting

Joyful Motherhood

by Kelly Crawford February 7, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

A reader asked,

“Would you mind doing a post on being Joyful in Motherhood – especially on the crazy, bad days. I have really lost my joy these days (I am sure pregnancy has something to do with it). And I have ZERO desire to read or listen to things that I know will help. Any Godly advice or suggestions you have will help.”

This is a timely question as I have struggled, too, with the heaviness of all the dismal uncertainty surrounding our nation’s future.

“Women are like spaghetti”, I heard a counselor say. Everything in our brains is connected. One emotion spills over into the next, and all of life’s experiences are intertwined. These can wreak havoc on a mother’s emotions–and that doesn’t even account for the roller-coaster hormones!

For me, it helps to start with realizing that some days I am truly affected by abnormal hormone levels and I just need to survive through it. I’m not even opposed to distraction–anything to keep my irritation or irrational behavior from affecting my family. (A whole post could be written about foods that can help or aggravate hormones, and also how exercise is directly related to our emotional state–endorphins are good!)

Go somewhere. Go for a walk. Play some lively music. Watch a movie. Sometimes a simple change of scenery can help. I remind myself–“this is not me, it will pass”, and it helps me keep perspective.

Our moods are greatly affected by our thoughts, and our thoughts reflect the things we dwell on. I hardly ever watch/listen to the news because all of the horrible stories they seem to magnify can consume my thoughts.

There is fine line between “staying in the dark” and keeping abreast of needful information. But sometimes a media break replaced with “happy thoughts” is the best medicine. That’s more than a cheesy suggestion too. Research backs it up. (And the Bible did long before…”whatever things are true, honest, pure, just, lovely, of good report–think on these things”.)

Or maybe reminding ourselves of the tragedies we’ve been spared helps put life back in perspective. When my children complain about petty things, I remind them of children who can’t walk, or don’t have basic necessities, etc….we would do well to remember those things too!

Hebrews 13:15 says: “Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise – the fruit of lips that confess His name”.

I’ve always thought of this verse meaning that the sweetest praise is that offered when we least feel like it. Praise Him verbally, write it down, praise Him to your children–but praise Him. The Lord dwells among praise!

And how often do we fail to look to God for help? Do we ever just cry out, “Lord, today is so hard–I need you to help me!” And perhaps that prayer needs to be accompanied by repentance.

David had his joy robbed from him because of unconfessed sin. Often God will remove our joy to restore our hearts. It should be a time of searching.

Ironically, while I was cleaning out some papers this morning, I ran across a poem I wrote years ago…I encourage you, we all have hard days, we are all fallen and none of us have it together. But we are not alone! He’s waiting for us to simply ask–“Faithful is He who called you Who also will do it.”

Though now I stand in a valley dark, I do not stand alone,

There is One who stands with me, so gentle yet so strong.

He is my refuge and my shield, He holds me in His arms–

He’s my Heavenly Father and in Him I’m safe from harm.

He never promised me a life that’s free from pain or tears,

But promised He would never leave and that allays my fears.

Because no matter what I face or how my heart may break,

My Father knows and hurts with me, He longs to soothe the ache.

I know not what tomorrow holds and yesterday is gone,

So on my knees I pray today for strength to carry on.

Father grant me faith and hope as I walk through the storm,

And may I reach the other side stronger than before.

Devotions, Advice & Renewal for When Motherhood Feels Too Hard

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February 7, 2009 3 comments

feminism marriage motherhood/family/parenting

Women Hold the Keys to Real Power and Influence

by Kelly Crawford February 5, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

Irony constantly leaps out of God’s order as it opposes what those around us say.

As women in this century, we face lies about our power at every turn. As we hear more and more about the “danger and oppression” of traditional family roles and marriage, and how women must fight for their independence from everything around them, we see women becoming weaker and weaker under the guise of power, and ultimately, it weakens our entire infrastructure as a nation.

As Keeper of my home, I hold keys. Important, powerful keys. Keys to the immediate doors of my family, and keys to the future of my civilization.

What we’re witnessing around us politically and culturally may not appear to be directly related to our roles as women. But it is my opinion that it has everything to do with it. I fully understand why the forerunners of socialism and communism said, “We must influence the women first”.

And even as a woman who understands the concept of “holding keys”, am I being diligent to use them properly, to their fullest potential? Even we can get slack, or apathetic, or discouraged. I know I sometimes do.

So what are those keys that I hold, and how can I better use them?

Key #1 Doubling the power of my family’s influence.

When God so wisely constructed marriage, he built a relationship where two people became one stronger entity. They completed each other, they did not compete. The enemy seeks to create competition because it divides that entity and thereby restrains the power of a unified family.

Consider all the ways a family is divided against itself…every time members go in opposite directions to fulfill roles or achieve goals that are counter to each other, the family is divided and weakened. Even the church has fallen party to dividing the family.

As a wife I have the opportunity to fortify my husband, and reinforce my family on a daily basis as we all work toward the same vision and goals.

Key #2 Building the next generation.

It’s no secret when we look around that we sorely lack responsible, intelligent, moral, wise leaders. Should we be surprised? Those kinds of people don’t just show up. A lot of sacrifice is involved in creating those people. Am I willing to make that sacrifice? Every day? Can I see the diaper-dragging toddler as a politician that may move mountains one day? When she’s bathing her dolly in the toilet, do I imagine that this baby will grow up to be a strong mother of leaders?

Somebody has to build the next generation, or we will all pay.

Key #3 Strengthening families around me.

A true “key-holder” knows that her influence extends beyond her own family. How can we build others up? Are we looking for practical needs around us to be filled? Physical, spiritual, emotional ones? Are we available to help meet those needs? “She extends her hand to the needy.”

If women everywhere would understand their influence and exercise it in just these three key areas, we would see a revolution. Our power lies in reaching beyond ourselves and most often denying our immediate desires. It lies in vision, in seeing beyond today and being willing to do what’s hard, what’s unpopular or unseen in order to propel the strength of a nation.

Cling to the irony of truth–“he who loses his life will find it”.

February 5, 2009 8 comments

feminism marriage motherhood/family/parenting

Family Break Down a "Triumph"? What Else Can They Say?

by Kelly Crawford February 4, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

The family, at large, is falling apart–this we know.

But what you may not know is that there are actually groups of people claiming that what we perceive as a social crisis–that is the high divorce rate, children born out of wedlock, etc., is a “triumph” for the human rights movement.

“A leader in the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) has declared that the breakdown of traditional families, far from being a “crisis,” is actually a triumph for human rights.” Life Site News.com

Listen a little more closely…

“In the eyes of conservative forces, these changes mean that the family is in crisis,” he said. “In crisis? More than a crisis, we are in the presence of a weakening of the patriarchal structure, as a result of the disappearance of the economic base that sustains it and because of the rise of new values centered in the recognition of fundamental human rights.”

Basically, it’s just us kooky conservatives with our “narrow-minded view” that the ideal family is a mother, father and children, who think something is wrong. Silly us. We just need to be enlightened, I guess.

(By the way, the curriculum in our government school systems have already been moving toward this–removing all traces of references to “Mom and Dad” lest we offend, and adding positive reference to homosexual relationships.)

Dare I see the “f” word? Feminism–and all its cohorts are to blame for this warped way of thinking. It’s a natural progression. In the name of “rights”, we have elevated woman to a level of rebellion against any structure that threatens to “limit” her.

Now that she’s free to throw off the yoke of marriage on a whim, she’s too educated to stay home and invest in the future of her children, and we’ve finally broken the social stigmas that would require her to need a husband in order to start a family–why wouldn’t the family as we know it break down?

And what are they left to say except, “This is a good thing”? After all, this is what they created. To admit we have problems, is to admit they have failed.

So they’ll keep their heads buried in the sand and clap at each divorce–another “triumph”, while ignoring the blatant destruction all around us as a result of the collapsing family.

Christians, gird up your family and your children. They may be the only ones left standing.

Thank you, Daja, for sending me that link.

February 4, 2009 12 comments

humor motherhood/family/parenting pregnancy/birth control

Things NOT to Say During Childbirth

by Kelly Crawford February 3, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

— Gosh, you’re lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth.

— Do you think the baby will come before Monday Night Football starts?

— I hope you’re ready. The Glamour Shot photographer will be here in fifteen minutes.

— If you think this hurts, I should tell you about the time I twisted my ankle playing basketball.

— That was the kids on the phone. Did you have anything planned for dinner?

— When you lie on your back, you look like a python that swallowed a wild boar.

— You don’t need an epidural. Just relax and enjoy this beautiful moment.

— This whole experience kind of reminds me of an episode from I Love Lucy.

— Oops! Which cord was I supposed to cut?

— Stop your swearing and just breathe.

— Remember what we learned in Lamaze class! HEE HEE HOO HOO.

–You’re not using the right words.

— Your stomach still looks like there’s another one in there.

Or my PERSONAL favorite, spoken by my dear husband with our first child…In labor, still at home, “Honey, do you mind getting lunch ready before we go? And if it’s OK, I’m going to grab a shower.” We made it just a few hours before delivery. He’s learned a lot since then 😉

February 3, 2009 79 comments

motherhood/family/parenting

Do You Have Time to Snuggle?

by Kelly Crawford February 3, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

This has become one of our favorite past times lately. To be honest, part of me feels like it’s a waste of time; that part of me that thinks “We should be working, or doing something more productive”.

But the quiet voice inside me says, “This is important.”

Sometimes we read, and sometimes we just talk and laugh. It seems I can hear more of their heart during these times. But most importantly, I think they sense that they are special and I hope they grow up to have strong memories of this “doing nothing” time.

This time will pass quickly; soon they will no longer be asking, “Mama, will you snuggle wid us?” Do I have time?

I love little shoes

I love little dolls;

I love little trucks

I love little balls.

All these little objects

Scattered here and there,

Mean that little people are running everywhere!

And what could be more pleasant

Or bring me more delight,

Than morning baby giggles

And sleepy hugs at night?

When I’m feeling fussy

At the smudges on the pane,

I place my hand against the print,

And wish they’d stay the same.

Some people go to work each day

And build skyscrapers grand,

But the Master-builder helps me build

the kind that will always stand!

Kelly Crawford 2006

February 3, 2009 6 comments

abortion pregnancy/birth control

Overpopulation and Environmental Lies

by Kelly Crawford February 1, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

A reader (thank you Beth) sent me a link to the article “Two Children Should Be Limit” which made me nauseated to read it, and then angry to ponder. It’s difficult to “rope my thoughts together” cohesively because there is so much foolishness in this way of thinking, and so many ways to refute it.

This man suggests it is better to kill people (either by abortion or less medical treatment) than to damage trees. And the worst part is, his perception of the problem isn’t even real! The world is not dying because of people in it. By the way, there is no stopping this tide of destruction once we hop on that train. If abortion is considered “better” for the environment, then any life killed is better. It is nothing short of madness.

I also noticed a commenter brought up the fact that the author doesn’t acknowledge the UK’s biggest population problem–immigration.

Frankly, I need no scientific evidence to convince me that the overpopulation scare is a complete myth.

Why? Because the Creator, One who knows a lot more about carbon footprints than we do, said, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth”…and He didn’t give us a number limit on that “filling”. Then He laid out simple instructions about how to best provide for ourselves and promised that He would supply every need to those who love Him and call upon Him. End of story.

If you want to get upset about real problems with the economy or food supply or other threats you feel are imminent, blame what is to blame. The presence of people on earth is not the problem; the forsaking of basic common sense in our daily lives and the rejection of the principles of God is a much bigger threat.

However, if you need the evidence, there is plenty. The article below, written in 2003, is just one source I found of documented studies that provide compelling evidence against this insane idea. Do we just believe everything that the media spits out?

I keep wondering, what is the underlying force of this theory? There is something else, deeper and more evil propelling the idea that humans are a threat to the very place created for them. Isn’t it interesting how everything in Scripture points to life, while the world’s “wisdom” is full of death?

And one more time, I beg the Christian body to think carefully about the issue of life. In the article above, the author holds birth control and abortion in the same hand for the same purpose. We must approach it as a very slippery slope.

How sad and scary it must be to live a life without the knowledge of God and His supreme control over the universe!

“The Overpopulation Myth“

February 1, 2009 27 comments

dating/courtship motherhood/family/parenting

Preserving Their Purity

by Kelly Crawford January 30, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

Even though I’ve touched on this subject before, it is, perhaps, one of the closest to my heart, and one I think the Christian community is desperate to hear.

We have all but abandoned the idea of true purity in the upbringing of our children, even laughing and scorning the “extreme” ideas when they are brought up.

Tell a typical person (even a believer) that you expect your children to wait until marriage for their first kiss, and you will almost definitely be met with laughter. I’ve had a pastor laugh at me for saying it. Or better yet, that your children will not be dating until they are ready for marriage.

And yet, not so very long ago, it was common even among non-believers.

Having had such a tainted past full of immoral relationships and heart-giving years, I knew when I had children I would do anything to try to prevent that for them.

Which can be odd to some; I talked to a friend who claimed that all her intimate relationships helped shape who she is and prepared her for marriage. She is divorced now. I don’t believe that jargon for a minute.

We have allowed a godless culture to dictate what is normal to us. And the culture has no authority in our lives concerning matters of importance. Is it because the Bible doesn’t say, “Thou shalt not kiss before marriage” that we take the culture’s clues? (Even though it DOES say “It is not good for a man to touch a woman”.)

We must create “normal” for our children. We must love them enough to not care about the scorn of those around us.

Practicing intimate relationships (this includes more than just physical) in preparation for marriage doesn’t even make good sense logically. Add to that the counsel of Scripture and Christians ought not be caught dead buying into the dating game.

I get sick to my stomach when we visit a church and the teenagers are hugged up on each other. Physically ill, because I know the damage already done and continuing to be done, and I know that with marriages already at odds, the baggage kids are carrying into them isn’t increasing their chances of strong, lasting unions.

Parents…pour your hearts into considering this issue. Dating is not just a cute, popular thing to do with harmless effects. It is party to the devastating divorce rate wreaking more and more havoc on our society.

Sometimes I see parents who are battling nervous breakdowns, raising their grandchildren because of their grown children’s marital turmoil, and I wonder how much of it is the stinging effect of the “innocent” dating life? Perhaps parenting isn’t as easy as “getting them out of the house”. If we want them to be a part of the “fun, dating life”, we shouldn’t be alarmed when they also become a part of the divorce statistics.

And of course, most everyone one of us dated. Not everyone with dating baggage gets a divorce. I am pointing out, though, that the stats are way too high–especially for Christians. We’re doing something terribly wrong.

I beg you, be willing to be “odd” to save your children the deepest heartache.

January 30, 2009 24 comments

abortion pregnancy/birth control

Should He Have Been Aborted?

by Kelly Crawford January 27, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

Starkly contrasted against the backdrop of our culture of death, is a remarkable, unbelievable story–a breath of fresh air.

I saw the movie years ago, and yesterday, we started reading the book May’s Boy again. If you’ve not read it, DO. It is hands-down the most inspiring and miraculous story I’ve ever heard.

May received a call in 1952 about a boy given up for adoption because of his severe defects, and no one would take him. He was already sentenced to death with severe glaucoma, mental retardation and cerebral palsy (later he would be diagnosed with autism as well). The doctors had to remove his eyes and he was given the prognosis of a “vegetable” if he did miraculously survive.

May named him Leslie. She said every child was a gift and deserved someone to love him. She poured her life into him. And what’s more, she never gave up despite virtually no sign of hope for the first seven years. He lay lifeless with only a heart beat for those years.

Once she saw him move, she decided to strap him to her back and drag him around so he could feel her walk. She never thought he actually would learn. He stood for the first time at age fifteen, and soon began walking.

Then one night she woke to hear what she thought was the tv left on with a piano concerto being played. It was Leslie. Not only was he playing concert-level pieces perfectly, but also singing in the most beautiful baritone voice. He had never yet spoken a word, and could barely hold his cup.

May had prayed one simple prayer for Leslie all his life: “Lord, remember to do something for Leslie.” More than what He did for Leslie was what he did for thousands who still see Leslie and know that God is God.

Her amazing love for “the least of these” laughs in the face of “intelligent reasons for abortion”. Every time I hear someone sing a sad song about babies who are better off aborted, I think of Leslie, and others like him.

There was one woman who loved God more than her own life, lost her life to save it, never gave up, and who saw even a lifeless human form as a gift from God.

(BTW, if “defects” were an appropriate gauge of who should live or die, Beethoven would have been aborted, along with a list a half mile long. God doesn’t make mistakes, and His purposes often blow our theories out of the water. We sorely miss the mark when we assert our “reasoning” over the divine sacredness of life. There is never a reason to kill an innocent human.)

Here’s May and Leslie:

January 27, 2009 32 comments

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