motherhood/family/parenting

I used to race, I used to hurry, I used to fret and frown and worry.

My children thought they had new names–“Hurry Up” and “We’re Gonna Be Late”!

Even when we were at home–laundry, cleaning, answer the phone…

I never had the extra time to sit and cherish these children of mine.

But in His grace the Lord broke through

And I saw everything anew.

We have but only a few days here, to love and share and pull them near.

And while there’re things that must be done,

Our lives are like the setting sun.

While its light is burning bright, before we face, alone, the night,

Let’s stop the madness of this race–

Let’s take back a slower pace!

Look into those grinning faces,

Plan your day with lots of spaces.

Grab a hand and take a walk, listen while your children talk.

Let them show you childhood things,

Take turns laughing on the swing.

Snuggle up beside the fire, kiss the hurt left by a brier.

Meet them with a morning smile, go out and fish a little while.

Choose carefully how you spend your time.

Don’t wait until you suddenly find

The wrenching grief of a heart that aches

Who loved too little and found out too late.

Kelly Crawford

1/2005

Their naps fall right at cleaning up from lunch and wrapping up morning school stuff, and right before a full afternoon, squeezing all the life out of it I can.

“Will you tell me a story about a horse that poops butterflies?” He wants one about monster trucks. Again.

I was busy. I tell lots of stories. Today I needed to hurry and do…

more important stuff.

And I knew instantly, though she didn’t complain, what I was about to miss.

It’s the thousand small things in a day–the tiny, rhythmic motions that assure a child all is well, life is sure and steady.

It’s my choice to value our short story time as much as the other things, to tell her, by my stopping, that this–she–is the more important stuff.

Don’t we like to think that parenting greatness comes in big, lofty moments? That would be easier.  But everything good happens slowly, steadily, growing almost imperceptible over time, through the ignoble, and it’s no different growing people. Maybe that’s why fewer and fewer are signing up for full time parenthood.

Simple. But excruciatingly hard.

And whether it’s telling a nap time story, waiting patiently for a shoe-tying rookie, or putting the broom down because my teenager needs to talk, if I rush through it, or neglect it altogether so I can be “on to bigger things”, I’ve missed the bigger things already.

“We cannot do great things on this earth. We can only do little things with great love.” -Mother Teresa

I’ve used the term “warrior mother” before and I like that word. I think it is accurate, and oddly ironic up against the culture’s drum beat of “I am woman, hear me roar.”

If we could pin point just one place where more erosion to our society has occurred, it is without a doubt the HOME. Broken marriages–the home. Troubled children–the home. Redefining of traditional family life–the home. Women broken and searching for their own worth–the home.

The home is a concentrated point of attack from an enemy who seeks to steal, kill and destroy.

In battle, a known point of attack would be heavily fortified and guarded. I find it no coincidence that “keeper” as in “teach them to be keepers at home” from Titus 2, is translated from a Greek word meaning “to guard.”

Sadly, our enemy has done a stellar job at offering all the right decoys, blinding us to the very NEED to defend home.

We are warriors in the greatest, spiritual sense. Fighting for our homes, our marriages, our children and our own integrity as women of God.

This isn’t about “well, good for you but I’m not made for that sort of thing…it’s not my calling.”

If we have homes, we are called. But we are not called to go at it alone! God has always called the weak and the incapable and then when they admitted, “I can’t do this!“, He replies, “I will go before you…my strength is made perfect in weakness.”

Part of the fighting will be against the battle that rages within us. We can’t give up. Here’s what we do:

• Prepare for the attacks, knowing they are an expected part of life, whatever form they may take.

• Stay mentally alert to the task. We guard, we fortify, we nurture, we restore, we prepare soldiers, we hold up the arms of our commander-in-chief…we do A LOT in a day. Throwing every ounce of energy into that is not wasted time. Anything less, and we won’t have enough resources to guard properly.

• Get up and do it again. Every single one of us has those days where the task feels too hard. Giving up is not an option. We divert the enemy. We change pace, change scenery, change tactics. Then we get on our knees and utilize the power God offers to us. We spend some time in God’s Word, meditate on truth and get ready to do it again the next day.

We ARE called. We are called to fight, defend, guard and build our homes. To build a legacy that will continue beyond us.

The question is, will we answer?

“His master said, ‘Well done, thou good and faithful servant’..”

Join me today at Raising Homemakers for a powerful reminder of the most important tool we can give our children…

“‘Parenting is hard’.  My friend announced their family motto.  I agree with her 100%.

There’s the delicate balance between “training them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” and all that entails, and the work that only the Lord can do in a heart…We teach them character, to be thankful, to be cheerful to be servant-minded, but all those things must spring from a heart that acts in gratitude toward a risen Savior.

Sometimes it all seems to flow together naturally….

But sometimes, we see the Deceptor’s hand at work using love of Self to breed rebellion and ingratitude.

It brings every parent to the throne of grace faster than anything.  We can talk, we can plead; but it soon becomes evident that only a work of God can soften that heart, bringing it to a place of joyful submission to the Lord….

We can’t change the heart.  But there are things we CAN do do bring them toward the One who can…

Read all of “Training the (Deceitful) Heart: Giving Our  Children the Mighty Weapons”

 

The parent’s part is to train them for life, to send them out of the home ready for whatever duty or mission God may have ready for them….What we want to do with our children is not merely to control them and keep them in order, but to implant true principles deep in their hearts which shall rule their whole lives; to shape their character from within into Christlike beauty, and to make of them noble men and women, strong for battle and for duty. They are to be trained rather than governed. Growth of character, not merely good behavior, is the object of all home governing and teaching. Therefore the home influence is far more important than the home laws, and the parents’ lives are of more moment than their teachings.

-J.R. Miller, Homemaking