Why “the outside” matters…
“Heavenly Father, Thou hast placed me in the church which thy Son purchased by His own blood. Add grace to grace that I may live worthy of my vocation. I am part of the Lamb’s bride, the church. May I live high above a love of things temporal; sanctified, cleansed, unblemished, hallowed by grace; thy love my fullness, thy glory my joy, thy precepts my pathway, thy cross my resting place.”
Newsflash:
Marriage is not for our happiness–it’s for our HOLINESS. Ouch!
We talk a lot about “do this for a happy marriage”…and there is a realistic place for that. But here’s the awesome thing…
When we just obey God, and stop assessing whether or not we want to obey, we will find ourselves perfectly happy–content.
In marriage, we are to act in such a way that our union is a picture to the world of Jesus the Bridegroom and His church–us–the Bride. Period. Everything the Bible says about our responsibilities in marriage ultimately serves to glorify God. We should shudder in awe of the responsibility to represent Christ in this way!
If we could just get that! We were created–marriage was created–children were created–to do none other than to glorify our Creator. It’s not about us! And yet, in His mysterious design, when we live for Him, He gives us all the abundance of life!
Our only job is to do what He says, and the glory will be accomplished.
Wow there is such peace in that!
All that is simply a preface to our understanding about being a wife. Many of us Christians are still so indoctrinated by a worldly, feminist philosophy, that I thought it needful to go back to the basics…what is marriage even for?
Because it is only with a clear understanding of the purpose of marriage that we can even begin to properly fulfill our roles.
If marriage is to make us happy…we’ve got problems. Because you see, that wonderful man that we married is not always as wonderful as he was the day of our wedding. AND NEITHER ARE WE! There are a lot of husbands and wives desecrating the sanctity of their marriages because they are “not happy” anymore.
“Not happy” is not a reason to break your marriage vows. And it has no place as a measuring stick of determining our promised fidelity.
Once we get that settled in our minds, life gets a lot easier. God created marriage–He can make the rules. We can choose to obey them and reap the blessing, or do things our way and reap the curse.
So, our thinking has to be right. So far we’ve determined that:
- A virtuous wife is rare–we must be willing to be different.
- A rare jewel requires work–we must be willing to allow God to work on us.
- A virtuous wife is trustworthy with all that she has been given–we must be wives in whom our husbands can put their complete trust.
- Marriage is not to make us happy–it is to make us holy.
“She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:12
Chew on this one today…and by the way, as we raise daughters, remember “ALL” the days of her life, which shoves the typical dating life right out of the picture.
Do your husband good. A verse akin to this one, that really pricks my heart is, “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband; but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.” Prov. 12:4
It repeats the trust theme–is he proud and confident with me at his side, knowing that I hold his reputation in highest regard, and will protect it with my honor? That’s a wife he will wear as a crown!
As I mentioned in an earlier post, this issue of the dating lie our culture has perpetuated is a subject that concerns me most deeply. I’ve seen the damage it’s doing to people, and I have experienced it first hand. Many have said to me, “oh, I wouldn’t take anything for my dating experiences…they have made me who I am”. I had one friend tell me that her past involvement with men “made her the wife she is today”…well, I can’t really argue with that statement. By the way, she is a divorced wife today.
And while not everyone has experienced the same degree of “tragedy” in his or her dating history, I believe very few, if any, come out of it completely unscathed.
One of my biggest concerns with the system of dating is the way parents fool themselves, seeking, I guess, some kind of comfort in allowing their children to do what they probably know deep down is not OK. The first foolish assumption is that dating doesn’t cause emotional harm. We’ve addressed this at length in some earlier posts, but the idea that two people can become extremely intimate, emotionally and otherwise, spending hours on end together, sharing thoughts, feelings, and dreams, and then abruptly end that bond just to move on to make another one, and not be emotionally damaged by the time they reach the altar is absurd. And any parent who doesn’t think so is a fool.
The second foolish assumption is that as long as there is no physical proof of sexual behavior, then they are probably not engaging in it. Baloney. As we’ve mentioned before, kissing is sexual behavior…it’s foreplay, meant to lead right into intercourse. Even if it doesn’t, it’s sexual…period. It arouses emotions and feelings that were only meant to be experienced between married people. It’s heartbreaking how cavalier we treat kissing and other physical behavior considered “normal” for a dating couple. There was a time in history where people were wise enough to recognize such behavior as fornication. Now the person who says so is rendered weird and prudish.
BUT one big huge gripe I have is when a girl in a dating relationship comes up pregnant and her parents are suddenly outraged. What is that about? Are they outraged because she didn’t use birth control? Parents should only be shocked if their daughter is involved in a relationship and she DOESN’T end up pregnant!
I left a letter on my parents’ bed when I was nineteen (and unmarried) telling them that I was pregnant. Of course, they were devastated. I was from a Christian home, was faithful in church, was even a soloist at my church, had taught Sunday School, and was a “role model” of sorts to the younger kids.
I was also heavily involved, and had been since I was 13 or 14 in dating relationships. I probably had what I would call 5 or 6 serious relationships, with a whole bunch of “flings” in between. All I thought about were boys from a very early age. They consumed the better part of my growing up years. I experienced heart aches so deep that I remember wanting to die.
I guess my parents, like most, felt helpless against the pressure to allow dating. I mean, it was what everyone did. How could they not allow me to? Satan’s lies and the power behind them are so strong, that Christian fathers all over the nation are wringing their hands about this gut feeling they have, and yet continue to relinquish the protection God has given them over their daughters, turning them over to be all but completely destroyed by this model of dating.
My unwed pregnancy was not the tragedy of my life, like everyone made it out to be. It never is. The tragedy was the brokenness, the violation of purity, the detachment from my family during very important years, the raping of mind, body and soul, leaving me degraded, used and with little to offer my husband in the sacred bond of marriage.
I praise Him for his grace, for His ability to soothe wounds. But God is not a magician who waves His wand and the consequences of years of disobedience and sin just vanish. That’s what I would communicate to parents. Just because it finally ends, and that child grows up and finds a mate, doesn’t mean the consequences are left at the altar. That whole “learn from your mistakes” thing is not always what it’s cracked up to be. Grace is ours, but the consequences are too.
This is happening to girls and boys, men and women everywhere, all the time. Is it any wonder, can we be surprised when we see the divorce rate? It is only God’s grace that keeps those of us together who still are!
In this last post about courtship, my plea is that everyone of you who feel that the dating system is robbing our children and our marriages of God’s potential, to do all you can to turn the thinking of the culture. If a lie can be told enough times that it looks like truth, surely the truth can prevail if we are faithful to tell it.
Avoiding Courtship Horror Stories
by Doug Wilson
A few cautions for parents considering the courtship model.
First, the authority of the father must be applied differently depending upon whether a situation is a negative or positive one. In other words, a world of difference lies between a man refusing a suitor his daughter might like and a father insisting on a man his daughter does not like. In the first instance, he is providing a protective fence and it is likely that he knows far more than his daughter does. His wisdom is exercised the way a father’s wisdom should be-in a defensive and protective way.
But in the latter instance, it is far more likely that his daughter knows more about the situation than he does. A man who tries to insist that his daughter develop an interest in someone he likes is a fool. He is not choosing a hunting partner for himself. His daughter is choosing a life long mate! Far from being a protection for her, she now needs (and does not have) protection from him. A man with an attractive daughter will become accustomed to the routine of putting off suitors. But a wise man will be extremely reluctant to exercise his authority in this area in a positive, prescriptive way – “This is the man you must marry . ” Now the world is a complicated place, and so we can imagine situations where this rule might not apply, but as a general rule this is really the difference between a defender and a tyrant.
Second, the tendency to trust the “system” of courtship for “sure results” is actually the sure road to disaster. We will start hearing the courtship horror stories as they trickle in. Suzie Q was excommunicated because she couldn’t bring herself to like the pastor’s son. Billy John was attacked by the parents of a plain girl in the congregation for his obvious lack of spirituality, as evidenced by his most grievous interest in that pretty one over there. But biblical patterns of behavior are only a blessing when they are followed by biblical people. As a proverb in the mouth of a fool reminds Solomon of the legs on a lame man (Proverbs 26:7), so the phrase biblical courtship in the mouths of fools is equally incongruous.
Third, we need to face up to the “too late” factor. A man who picks up a book on biblical courtship when his daughter is already living with a guy at college really ought to be reading something else. We glory in the truth that sin can be forgiven, but God has not arranged the world so that the consequences of sin are automatically erased whenever sin is confessed. We are individuals who will live forever, and in our children God has placed everlasting souls under our charge. This means that disobedience by parents can botch someone up eternally. Disobedient children should always be in our prayers, but we must not intimate that twenty years of parental sin admits of a quick fix. When a seventeen-year-old daughter has been dating for five years, and the full-tilt courtship model is used to clamp down on her, the only thing that will come of it is some really interesting pastoral problems.
Fourth is the pernicious problem of the spiritual pride associated with courtship. “We practice biblical courtship.” “Ooooooo. Can I touch you?” “No. That’s kind of the point, actually.” Such pride is often the result of embracing a practice which is not mainstream, and which sets the practitioner off as being weird. When pretending not to be weird would clearly be unsuccessful, the alternative frequently comes out in various weird and proud manifestations. But even if the pride is a defensive one, it remains pride and ought to be confessed as sin.
The central principle involved in courtship is biblical and constant. The parents of a young woman are to be authoritatively involved in the process of her courtship and marriage. The cultural practices will vary. The amount of wisdom displayed by the young people and parents will vary. The humility and grace will vary. But at bottom, this is a normal pattern of living for normal people who want to live biblically.
~Douglas Wilson
Let me thank Daja for bringing up some questionable issues regarding the article I referred to on courtship. Let me then say, that I embarrassingly admit that I did not read the entire piece as thoroughly as I should have before posting.
I won’t go into all the details of every point I agree and disagree with, but mainly, I strongly disagree with the author labeling “Armenians” as heretics. I have many close friends and family who are Armenian in their doctrine, and I do not question their salvation. With that said, I would agree that doctrinal differences within a marriage can definitely create problems, and it is probably wise to court a suitor with whom you agree in doctrine and theology.
And I strongly disagree with his interpretation of “biblical worship”. While there are differing opinions of what worship looks like, I do not at all agree that the use of instruments and such, are unbiblical, as apparently this author implies.
When I read the article, I recognized that it offered a good overview of the practice of courtship, explaining the dangers of dating in a biblical light, and so I offered it as a guideline mostly for those who are new to the process and needed to grasp some of the nuts and bolts of it.
I have stated emphatically before, that there is no one formula for courtship; only some general guidelines that can serve to assist a family walking through it. Every family and every circumstance is different.
As you read the article, chew up the meat and spit out the bones. There are some wonderful things to be gleaned from it, but I do not uphold, nor do I suspect most of you, every word the author says.
Just wanted to clarify! In the future, I will be more discerning and at least provide sufficient warning about the writings I post.
Thanks for your understanding!
I am offering an extended version of the topic of courtship in this post. I feel so strongly about this subject, and so desire that Christians everywhere would come to understand the devastating truth about our culture’s dating practices, that I wanted to share this article, by Reformed On-line, as a resource.
This is probably the most thorough, biblically sound, and informative article I’ve ever read on dating and courtship. The author expounds on many details, answering almost any question one might have. It is more like a chapter than an article, so I have only posted snippets of it here to pique your interest. But I STRONGLY recommend that you read the whole thing–it is so rich and so thorough. (The link to the complete article is at the bottom of post.)
The thing that makes the article so solid, is that he backs up virtually every point with Scripture. He clearly shows the biblical reasons behind his argument.
I recommend copying the entire article to have on hand for personal reference. I believe I understand that this website’s publications are free, at least for your own personal use.
The following 3 points are partial answers the the author’s question: “Why is dating wrong?”
1. Modern recreational dating is unbiblical because it tempts the parties involved to commit sexual immorality and often leads to fornication. Because of our sinful natures and because of natural sexual appetites believers should never place themselves in situations that can cause temptation and sin….
2. Another particularly troublesome aspect of the dating paradigm is that believers are trained to confuse lust and strong emotions with genuine biblical love. Kissing and rubbing various parts of the body are clearly foreplay; they are the normal prelude to sexual intercourse. Although a Christian man would never allow someone to conduct himself in such a manner (i.e., foreplay, sexual touching) with his wife or daughter, he convinces himself that such behavior is somehow acceptable when he is single and the hormones are flowing. He is also ignoring the fact that he is touching someone else’s future wife, while at the same time expecting his own future wife to be chaste….
3. Modern recreational dating is unbiblical because it trains young people to take male-female covenant relationships lightly. With modern dating the goal of the relationship is first personal pleasure (i.e., having a lot of fun); then second, developing romantic feelings and strong emotions; then third (in some cases) the making of some sort of commitment (e.g., going steady). At this point in the relationship, however, the commitment is only one of restricting pleasurable activities (going out, sexual gratification, etc.) to each other. Engagement or betrothal is only a future possibility at best. Note, that this so-called dating commitment can be dissolved by either party at any time for any reason whatsoever without any negative civil or social consequences….
Conclusion:
Biblical courtship is a great blessing. It takes the extremely important process of finding a life partner out of the realm of human autonomy (irrationality, fleeting emotions, lust and romance), and places it squarely upon God’s infallible word. It frees men and women from temptation and peer pressure, con artists and hasty, ill-informed decisions by protecting them by means of a convenantal fence. It brings men and women together with their Christian parents and their decades of sanctified experience. It also gives young adults a genuine opportunity to really get to know one another. It is our hope and prayer that God’s people would return to this biblical practice.
Read the entire article HERE:
Let me know what you think, and pass the word along! (Who knows…your spreading the word about courtship could possibly come back around in the form of a son-in-law or daughter-in-law!)
I’ll clarify right at the start, that the word “courtship” is just a word that can have many different meanings to different people. Some people don’t even use the word. For simplicity’s sake, I’m using it to refer to the general principle of a biblical approach to finding a spouse. Every family views courtship a little differently, but the basic premise is usually the same–that’s what this post is about.
Let me also preface the post by saying that courtship is not a list of do’s and don’ts that will ensure a perfect marriage. We are all fallen humans, struggling with sin, and prone to mistakes. Sometimes the courtship process doesn’t go as smoothly as a family hoped. I’ve seen disappointments and frustrations. But be sure it is a heart issue where a family is seeking, the best they know how, to honor God with this crucial decision. And in every situation I know of, He always honors those efforts, despite the stumbles along the way.
There are several basic tenets of courtship most people observe:
The first one is the recognition of waiting until a person is ready to marry before pursuing a romantic relationship of any kind. This is foreign to the “test-drive” dating process. In courtship, we acknowledge that it is futile to be “looking” for a spouse before one is ready for marriage. The years prior to marriage should be spent in physical, mental and spiritual preparation for such. A young man or woman who is consumed with a romantic relationship during his/her teen years, not only violates their future spouse, damages their own emotions, but also squanders many opportunities for growth toward maturity. Of course this principle requires discipline, self-control and a parent-honoring relationship. Many an opposition will be our children’s in this dating-oriented culture–we have to prepare them.
The second tenet of the courtship principle (of course these are all intertwined together), is recognizing the sovereignty of God, His desire to honor purity, and His ability to “bring you together” at the right time. Dating assumes that I have to go out and find a mate. Courtship believes that God will bring my spouse into my life at His appointed time. VERY IMPORTANT THING TO GRASP.
Thirdly, courtship relies heavily on the parent’s involvement in finding a spouse. This is where we get accused of practicing “arranged marriages”. Such an accusation merely reveals the accuser’s ignorance of the subject. For years, and still in many countries, parents were closely involved in their children’s choice of spouses. And why shouldn’t they be? Parents have an innate sense of the characteristics of their children. They have divine intuition, and are able to guide them, from an objective point of view, in or out of desirable relationships.
I think this particular part of the whole process is hard for most people to swallow. Tragically, little by little, the parent’s honor and authority have been stripped away from the family. The schools know better about education; the church knows better about spiritual training, the youth group knows better about “what we’re going through”, so where does that leave parents? Dumb, old-fashioned and with little to offer. This is NOT the way God designed families!!!
The parents serve as a tremendous means of protection for a daughter as she approaches marriageable age, and before, if need be. When a young woman readily submits to her father’s authority and honors his devotion to her protection, he stands as a shield against those who would selfishly seek to violate her purity. When it does come time to evaluate suitors for his daughter, a father knows he is ultimately responsible for the man he hands his daughter to at the altar. What father, understanding his responsibility, is not going to throw himself before the throne of God on behalf of wisdom in helping her make this important decision?
As suitors come and go, the first “line of defense” is that he is man enough to inquire of her father. This will rule out a good many of our culture’s weak-kneed boys. It also gives the father and mother the opportunity to turn one away that they know is not a suitable man for their daughter, without even getting her heart involved. At some point, a man will come (hopefully!) that her parents feel have the qualities of a godly husband. It is then, that she has complete freedom to choose to get to know him, or not. There is never a point, that I’ve ever seen in families that practice courtship, where she is forced to marry someone she does not whole-heartedly wish to marry.
Still another facet of courtship involves how the couple gets to know each other. Two important elements are missing from most dating relationships: a physical accountability, and the opportunity to see a realistic picture of one another. Courtship seeks to remedy these problems. Most courtship relationships involve the couple spending time with each other in group settings, particularly with each other’s families. This is an obvious physical protection that should not even have to be explained. Of course every family and couple have different “boundaries”. Some are never alone; some are permitted some time alone. There is no rule, but each family should seek the Lord on these issues. Besides immediate physical protection, should the couple decide to end the courship, hearts, minds and bodies have been preseved. The ending is not like a miniature divorce.
On the subject of physical limits: again, every family is different. But it is widely practiced, and I personally believe, that no physical contact (other than a friend-type contact) should be made prior to marriage. When I first heard this idea, I thought it was absolutely ludicrous. A lot of people do–sad, since the Bible speaks of not touching a woman. We’re so very desensitized from all the bombardment of sex around us, that not holding hands just seems anti-American. In the days of the Civil War, if a woman did not wear gloves during a formal dance, to prevent her skin from touching a man’s, she was considered loose. We’ve come a long way baby!
As I mentioned in my last post, if we would think about our pre-marriage experiences from a new angle, considering what would be appropriate after marriage, things would look very different. Where are the boundaries? If holding hands is OK, why isn’t kissing? And kissing, by its very nature, invokes sexual feelings that are not supposed to be aroused in a couple who isn’t married. (In fact, you can probably recall that the first time you even held a boy’s hand you felt tingly all over–that’s sexual too.)
What makes the days before I walk to the altar any different to my husband than the days afterwards? If it’s a violation after I’m married, what makes it innocent before? Just thoughts for you to ponder. Our bodies are easily aroused. Shouldn’t all of it be saved for my spouse?
But along with this protection, the couple gets to really see what the other is like. It’s easy to be anyone you want to be when you go out to dinner and a movie. But that doesn’t provide much opportunity for observing what a person is really like. In a family setting, we see how he treats his brothers and sisters; his mother; her father, etc. We see how he responds to touchy situations (we all know that a person can be seen for who he really is within the context of his family!) It’s a much more realistic picture of who your potential marriage partner is.
The most common question I hear about the idea of courtship is “how does a person ever find a mate if they don’t date”? It’s really the same principle. If you are a “dater”, the dating boys find out and ask you out. If you are a “courtship gal”, the courtship boys find out and wait for you! I guess the underlying thought is that no one else on the planet practices this “odd” sort of thing. Wrong. Many, many do, and many more are forsaking the world’s ways and striving to follow a biblical course for finding a mate.
And just like the success stories about homeschooling, I have witnessed and know personally, so many beautiful courtship stories, witnessing first kisses at the altar (talk about emotional!), seeing a couple pure and spotless as a lamb, entering into holy matrimony with a whole life time of discovery ahead of them. TRUE ROMANCE! What parents wouldn’t want this for their children?
I wrote an analogy about courtship a few years ago a friend urged me to share. It is entitled “Daughters and Chocolate Cake”. Click on the title to read it.
Here is a great website with lots of real-life courtship stories. I hope they encourage you, and give you a clearer understanding of what it looks like to wait for your mate! Courtship Stories
“Dating, I believe, is one of Satan’s biggest knee-slappers. I’m not at all reluctant to make such a statement. I think a major component of the staggering divorce rate is related to our practice of finding a spouse. I am a victim of its poison, and I watch its horrible effects every single day. You are probably a victim too.”
I am beginning a series on courtship–a subject about which I’m extremely passionate. But to discuss the need for courtship, first we have to dismantle the model of dating. It is only fitting that we discuss this subject right after our series on homechooling. It was the very issue of dating that prompted our first thoughts of homeschooling. I’ll explain later…
Dating is an acceptable practice for the majority of US citizens, including Christians. Dating, I believe, is one of Satan’s biggest knee-slappers. I’m not at all reluctant to make such a statement. I think a major component of the staggering divorce rate is related to our practice of finding a spouse. I am a victim of its poison, and I watch its horrible effects every single day. You are probably a victim too. We all have varying degrees of damage, but very few escape unscathed. The problem is, we have been conditioned to accept the atrocities of dating as “normal”, even necessary for life.
I’m horrified at Christians who won’t even consider the damage recreational dating is doing to our youth culture, continuing, instead, to assist their own children in perpetuating broken relationships that turn into broken marriages. We are called to be discerning, to walk circumspectly, to be set apart. Why won’t we look at the statistics, look at our youth culture, look at our failed marriages within the church and say “SOMETHING IS TERRIBLY WRONG HERE!”
Dating doesn’t make sense from any angle.
First of all, dating conditions us to approach relationships merely for how they benefit us (which is the opposite for the preparations of marriage). How many times during your dating years did you find yourself saying, “I really don’t like this guy anymore…but, I’m going to give up my own happiness for his, and stay with him, and serve him, and place his needs over my own”?
No, instead, we date a guy because we “like” him, or because he’s popular, or good-looking or has some other physical/infatuating quality that appeals to us. We are not very interested in his character, or how he treats his mother, or how he responds to negative situations. As soon as he doesn’t fulfill our needs, he’s history, or vice-versa. A whole book could be written just on the emotional damage that repeated break-ups do to a person, and their conditioning for future relationships.
Secondly, we send our children off “dating” as early as 13 or 14 years old–what logic is this? They are no where near marriageable age, nor are they even thinking of it. Their hormones are completely out of whack, and they lack maturity and discernment in every area. Add to this insanity the way most young girls leave the house dressed, and you have just orchestrated a disaster.
That’s why I call it recreational dating. It is often merely a past time, not related at all to finding a spouse, which is what the ultimate goal should be. The most crucial training time for a person is the time prior to marriage. The youth years should be spent focusing on life-skills, building a strong relationship with the Lord and with family, and preparing for the future. Instead, most of these years in the typical life are squandered–being completely distracted by shallow relationships that actually work to destroy our foundations for a healthy future, and interfering with the strong bonds of family that are so crucial.
“She does him (her husband) good and not evil ALL the days of her life.” Prov. 31:12
Assuming that our model of dating was suppose to actually prepare for marriage…we send two hormonal teenagers out together, alone, and even “expect” them to be intimate–two married people could hardly hold up to that kind of physical temptation…how can we expect them to?
Thirdly, there’s the emotional attachment. A few years ago churches everywhere launched a “True Love Waits” campaign. While their efforts were noble, their understanding was terribly off. True love does wait…it waits for everything. I know many people who somehow managed to get through their dating experience and marry as virgins, but they were emotionally violated.
Think about this…what do we expect from our husbands in relation to his faithfulness to us? Would you be upset if your husband winked flirtatiously at another woman? What if he just enjoyed talking to her on the phone ever so often? What if just held her hand? All these activities would strongly violate marriage fidelity. And yet, every girl and boy who partakes of all these “harmless” activities stores them up in their emotional treasure. They don’t just erase every encounter they’ve had at the altar–those encounters become a permanent part of their lives. Every unmarried person is some one’s husband or wife. Why is it OK to violate them before the altar?
The typical dating experience involves at least some level of intimate attachment with at least two or three different people. The dating victims “practice” attaching then breaking up…attaching then breaking up, over and over. They strengthen the innate selfish pursuit of “my happiness”, and they set themselves up for virtually impossible temptations. They give away parts of their hearts, their minds, their dreams, their bodies, their emotions, all to someone who, in a few years will be nothing more than a stranger. They finally get to the altar broken, used, and carrying enormous baggage that will greatly affect their marriage.
Unfortunately, most of us will never personally know what a marriage really can be–approached from the beginning, God’s way. In fact, I have no doubt that many reading this will scoff…”She’s crazy. I dated, have no emotional scars and have a wonderful marriage”. And you may–praise God for His unfathomable grace! But we also have nothing to compare to. It may be possible that we will never know the bliss of the marriage God intended for us, had we kept our hearts for just our husbands. But we can prepare our sons and daughters for marriages that truly reflect the beauty and purity of Christ and his bride.
There is a much better way…not the world’s way, so of course, we can expect opposition. But isn’t that what the Bible teaches? To be thankful when we are persecuted for righteousness’ sake?
My next post will get into the meaning of courtship. In the mean time, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts about the damage you perceive dating to be doing to us. Likewise, I would love to hear from you if you disagree–that’s what makes this blog a debate! I left much unsaid here…perhaps your comments/questions/opposition will flesh out the topic a bit more.
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